How to Prevent a Tsunami of Bitterness or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love.

BQ:  What should you do if you feel yourself becoming upset with someone? Proverbs 17:14 says, "The beginning of strife is like releasing water;  Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts."

Don't even let that floodgate open. Once it does, the angry words that surge out erode the walls of a good relationship, leaving lasting scars. When I feel like I'm being hurt, I go to Luke 6:28, which says, "bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." When I'm praying for the good of someone, I find that I can't get angry. If possible, I try to have them pray with me.

BQ: Have you ever had a brother or sister in Christ that you couldn't stand? That feeling isn't good, but it is a blessing because it's like a klaxon going off to warn you that your spiritual health is damaged. 1 John 2:11 explains, "But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes."

While an unkindness may cause you to feel anger in response, God tells us, "Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath." (Eph 4:26) Don't let a feeling of quick anger be anything more than that. Put a damper on it immediately, and focus on walking in the light with whoever has hurt you, so that you don't end up by yourself in the darkness.

BQ: Have you ever called someone a bad name? Told them to go to hell? The second we let that bitterness toward a person exist, God isn't even interested in us trying to follow Him in other ways—not until we fix the flaw of inner hatred.. Instead, he tells us,

"Whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." (Mt 5:22-24) 

If you have a brother or sister that you're not reconciled with, don't let it ride. Give your best effort to love them. Suck up your pride and be kind. You might not win your brother, but you will have tried your hardest, and you will be able to say that Romans 12:18 applies to you. "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men."

Maintaining Strong Bonds: How to Stop Satan from Dividing and Conquering

Maintaining Bonds

Philippians 2:1-7

Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose. 3 Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves; 4 do not merely look out for your own personal interests, but also for the interests of others. 5 Have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus, 6 who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped, 7 but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant, and being made in the likeness of men.

BQ:  Would you kill your family members off one by one because of small differences? As a Christian family, we must never let the world drive us apart. We cannot let petty differences divide us. We must NEVER become embittered against a brother or sister in Christ, because,  “Every kingdom divided against itself is laid waste, and a divided household falls." (Mt 12:25)

Instead, at all times we must be "eager to maintain the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace." (Eph 4:3)   Jesus said, "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another." (John 13:35) Instead of looking for a reason to abandon your family, find a reason to cling to them. 

BQ:  Christians need to maintain relationships, because we're an army and a family.  Phil 2:1-2 says, "Therefore if there is any encouragement in Christ, if there is any consolation of love, if there is any fellowship of the Spirit, if any affection and compassion, 2 make my joy complete by being of the same mind, maintaining the same love, united in spirit, intent on one purpose."  How can you do that? How can you always be of the same mind or someone that perhaps you have little fondness for?

The easiest way is to realize that we all have the same commission from Jesus and the same purpose: to go and baptize people and teach them all that He commanded. That person you don't get along with because his sense of humor is weird? He is your battle buddy, and might save your skin one day. 

Apply this to romantic relationships, too. Realize that you MUST have the same mind and purpose, or you will never have complete joy, unity or spirit, encouragement of Christ, affection, compassion, or consolation of love.

BQ: Do you ever see a sister or brother in Christ and not feel like they're really someone you want to fellowship with? God says in Phil 2,  "if there is any fellowship of the Spirit...Do nothing from selfishness or empty conceit, but with humility of mind regard one another as more important than yourselves."  That person that is a little rough around the edges, maybe, don't regard as not good enough yet, but rather as more important than yourself.  Do everything to serve them and help them grow. 

If you're married or going to be married, realize the same thing. You have to regard your spouse or future spouse as more important, and be willing to go the extra mile, serving them and showing sacrificial love. It's a lot easier when you both have the same focus and goal: serving Christ.  If that's true, you'll never feel conflict in being a servant, but rather joy in being a part of an effective team.

BQ: As Christians, we can't let Satan divide us. We MUST remain united. Often we take offense over the coarse actions of a brother or sister or spouse, but we need to take a step back and realize that stumbling does not mean that we have to fall. Philippians 2 says that if we want to be united in spirit, we must, "not merely look out for [our] own personal interests, but also for the interests of others."  
 

Did your spiritual family member hurt your feelings? Don't be bitter. Instead, talk to them and show them how you can look out for his or her interest. Do something kind. Show your love and grace not through mere words, but with actions. It'll reveal the character of Christ, which can do more than anything else to change a person. 

BQ: Philippians 2 tells us that, in order to remain united in spirit, romantically or not, we must, "have this attitude in yourselves which was also in Christ Jesus: who, although He existed in the form of God, did not regard equality with God a thing to be grasped,  but emptied Himself, taking the form of a bond-servant.

Stick together with those who have the same goals as you. Empty yourself of selfishness and be willing to take on the attitude of a servant. It's one of the hardest things for us to do, and because of that, being a servant is one of the most memorable things, and the most inspiring to others. Lastly, don't think of servants as just those who clean up counters and do dishes. Soldiers serve their country, and are thus servants.  Be a solider in a great army, and never let anyone divide you to wreck your ability to serve God. 

Building Houses and Marriages

BQ: When you're thinking about marriage, if you're single, how do you approach it?  Psalm 127:1 says, "Unless the LORD builds the house, They labor in vain who build it."

Many approach marriage with no particular plan. It's simply, "I think that I'll do this, because it will make me feel happy." Would any us think that a good house could be built if we never had a plan for how to build it?

Before we get married, we need to have plan for the purpose for our marriage, and what it should accomplish. If not, it'll tend to be a chaotic mess.






BQ: An upcoming marriage should be planned like a house: thought out before we start building, and with purpose.  Proverbs 24:3-4 gives us some instruction:

"By wisdom a house is built,

And by understanding it is established;

And by knowledge the rooms are filled

With all precious and pleasant riches."

If you're thinking about building a new life in marriage, what are you building it on? If you're building it simply on emotion, that's a shaky foundation that will change a ton over time. Instead, build it with wisdom, understanding, and knowledge, and it will be a pleasant and rich one.






BQ: We saw that romantic emotions are insufficient for a good marriage in the long run, and that we need to plan. Just like building a house, we need a firm foundation. James 3:13-18 gives us some wisdom on how to plan our new life:

"Who among you is wise and understanding? Let him show by his good behavior his deeds in the gentleness of wisdom. But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing. 

But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

Notice that again wisdom and understanding are mentioned. We'll look at this a bit at a time, but for now, plan your marriage to be full of gentleness. Too many relationships are filled with one partner yelling at the other, with harshness and not gentleness. Don't let that happen with yours.





BQ: We were looking at James 3, which gives perfect advice on how to manage our relationships. When planning on getting married, we have to look for some of the signs of spiritual illness that might be present, and fix them as soon as possible. 

"But if you have bitter jealousy and selfish ambition in your heart, do not be arrogant and so lie against the truth. This wisdom is not that which comes down from above, but is earthly, natural, demonic. For where jealousy and selfish ambition exist, there is disorder and every evil thing."

When people repeat something, it's to emphasize it. Notice that jealousy is repeated as something to avoid. That's an early warning sign that something isn't quite right, and we'll look more at it tomorrow.






BQ: In relationships, God warns against jealousy and selfish ambition. One early warning sign that something is sick in a relationship is if jealousy exists, and especially if it is purposefully precipitated.  

Watch out for those who seek to make you jealous while courting. It'll often take a very subtle form...maybe a subtle comment on a picture of someone of the opposite sex on facebook, maybe mentions of how pleasing past love interests were and how it's hard to find someone of their caliber. It'll often be plausibly deniable, and you might even doubt yourself—surely someone you have feelings for wouldn't make you feel insecure, right?

Avoid that. Ask yourself: do you feel like you have to be a detective to figure out if you're really the one your romantic interest is truly interested in? If you do, and if there is any jealousy, the relationship is sick, and is not yet solid ground to build a marriage on.







BQ: We've been looking at James 3 and applying it to planning a marriage. In part, it says, "But the wisdom from above is first pure, then peaceable, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits, unwavering, without hypocrisy. And the seed whose fruit is righteousness is sown in peace by those who make peace."

Notice all of the PEACE in that passage. It's all about being gentle. Not a pushover, but gentle, forgiving...yet unwavering. Look at you and your love interest. Do you seek to fight to be right?

Look for the warning signs. Does your interest purposefully use mean words to hurt you, to gain an upper hand. If so, don't pass it off as something normal. That's a sign of a deep, serious flaw in the very foundation of the character of a person, and like building a house, a cracked foundation will get worse if not addressed. 






BQ:  We saw that jealousy is horrible in a relationship, and so is strife. The opposite of those two things, really, is harmony. Often Christians will "fall" for someone of the world—someone captive to Satan. 

Have you ever been to a symphony? The harmony of the instruments is beautiful. They work together to accomplish a goal, which is pre-planned. But imagine if just ONE instrument were playing to a totally different song. It would sound horrible. Now imagine that there were only two instruments, and each were playing something exactly the opposite of the other. It would be horrible.

When you're picking your partner for life, pick the one that's singing to the same spiritual tune. Don't pick something that will be discordant and unplanned. Pick harmony.






BQ:  God also likens relationships to house building, saying in Proverbs 14:1, "The wise woman builds her house, But the foolish tears it down with her own hands." In James 3, we saw that we get to choose wisdom from above, or earthly wisdom. Earthly wisdom is easily observed, and often comes in gross packages like, "90% of women choose a man based on the first kiss," or, "flat chests are like flat tires: worthless." 

Instead of picking someone based off those criteria, we should look at criteria from verse two, which notes that those "who walk in uprightness fear the Lord."  How spiritually beautiful is someone? How upright are they? 





BQ: When planning a house, and a marriage, we get our choice of foundation. We can choose a worldly partner, or one who is spiritually grounded. Jesus outlined our choices and said,

"Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock.  And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock.

Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.” (Mt 7:24-27)

Which foundation do you choose? One that will crumble in the end, or one that stands strong? It is not enough to pick a man or woman who merely hears the word—we must pick the one that shows through their labor that they are acting on it, too.






BQ: Gen 2 says in part,

"Then the Lord God said, “It is not good for the man to be alone; I will make him a helper suitable for him...  For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh."

When planning our marriages, we should be doing it because it is best if we are not alone, and best if we have help in our lives. The fact is, we NEED spiritual help, yet we often think of being a "helper" as an un-noteworthy role. Is it really a poor part to play? 

Psalm 54:4 should make it clear that we should all seek to be helpers, because, "Behold, God is my helper; The Lord is the sustainer of my soul."  Find the person that you'll help, complete, and sustain. 






BQ: The Song of Hiawatha, by Henry Wadsworth Longfellow, illustrated his take on marriage. It said, 

""As unto the bow the cord is,

So unto the man is woman,

Though she bends him, she obeys him,

Though she draws him, yet she follows,

Useless each without the other!""

God noted a similar take on things long before Longfellow, saying in Eccl 4:9-12,

"Two are better than one because they have a good return for their labor.  For if either of them falls, the one will lift up his companion. But woe to the one who falls when there is not another to lift him up. Furthermore, if two lie down together they keep warm, but how can one be warm alone? And if one can overpower him who is alone, two can resist him. A cord of three strands is not quickly torn apart."

When we act together, we can accomplish great things, and resist powerful adversaries. In your marriage, will you have three strands? We all can, if we choose: husband, wife, and God. The strongest of all bonds on this earth.






BQ:  For now, this will be our final look at building houses and marriages. Ultimately, what can make your marriage a solid one? There is one goal, that which if agreed upon, utterly negates selfish ambition and jealousy. 2 Cor 5:9 sums it up, saying,

"Therefore we also have as our ambition, whether at home or absent, to be pleasing to Him."

I'll leave you with five very basic tips for now to get your marriage started. They're so simple that anyone can do them.

1.) Determine the purpose for your marriage. To be merely happy (Satan can give you that for a seaon)? To be holy and happy? What is it?
2.) Set goals to accomplish that purpose—maybe just three to start.
3.) Make a plan to accomplish those goals. 
4.) Do the work to accomplish the plan.
5.) Pray and fast about it together, because peace exists in abundance while doing that.

Addicted to the World?

My study on spiritual addiction to the world turned into a study on Light, and what it can be to wander in the darkness. As such, here's an updated version. It's mostly for me, and I'll keep studying it, but it needs a place for me to easily access it online.


BQ: What would you think of a former addict who said, "You know what...I think that I can have just one sip/hit/look and call it good?" Probably not very smart, huh?

When we are baptized, we can say that we are crucified with Christ, and our sins and desires with it, yet we often have a period of time to unlearn our bad habits.  As Christians, it can be tempting to return to worldly behavior, yet when we do, we often find ourselves lamenting, saying, "Wretched man that I am! Who will set me free from the body of this death?" (Romans 7:24)  

Don't be the addict who decides to go back for another sip. Be free from the body of death. 




 

BQ: HAPPY NEW YEAR! :)

How are you going to improve your spiritual health this year? On a scale of 1 to 10, where are you? How can you improve? I have a suggestion that helped me a lot. 

Often, when we're spiritually weak, we tend to stick with those who are spiritually weak as well, or who are not spiritual at all. There we do not risk being looked down on, but instead are "loved" for our bad behavior.  

Why is this so?  Because, "For everyone who does evil hates the Light, and does not come to the Light for fear that his deeds will be exposed."  When we struggle with the old addict, we struggle wanting to keep our old deeds, and not have them exposed, so we keep bad friends, and not only cannot help them, but cannot help ourselves! We're stuck in the mud!

I encourage anyone who is not at the height of spiritual health to make a change of friends. Start now. Replace those who keep you spiritually in the grave with those who will raise you up, and remember that, "he who practices the truth comes to the Light, so that his deeds may be manifested as having been wrought in God.” (John 3:20-21)

BQ: Happy New Years! Again!

When we're addicted to the desires of the flesh, we can struggle with leaving our worldly friends.  It can be very tempting to "stay out of the spiritual high-beams."

Have you ever been on an airline flight and had the safety announcement say to put on your oxygen mask before anyone else's? If we want to help others, we first need to save and strengthen ourselves—or we risk losing ourselves, and our friends who are trapped in the world.

Don't be afraid of some spiritual high-beams. Light burns away the fog of sin, and repels the darkness. Embrace your family in Christ first, and leave the old behind. Walk into the light because, "Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life."  (Jn 8:12)



 

BQ: I once had a friend who admitted to having some great spiritual struggles with being unable to break away from the world.  This friend expressed a great desire to "stay out of the spiritual high-beams." Think about how striking those words are. High-beams are used...in the darkness.

 What was being expressed was actually a desire to avoid walking in Light. We MUST remember that, "Jesus spoke to them, saying, "I am the Light of the world; he who follows Me will not walk in the darkness, but will have the Light of life."  (Jn 8:12)

Don't avoid spiritual light, but rather leave addiction, darkness, and death behind by taking all the Light we can get! 



 

BQ: When we seek to stay out of the spiritual headlights, we don't want our worldly behaviors exposed, and so we start sliding away from our Christian family and turning to worldly friends for companionship.  God addresses this human habit and says, 

"But all things become visible when they are exposed by the light, for everything that becomes visible is light. For this reason it says,

“Awake, sleeper,

And arise from the dead,

And Christ will shine on you.” (Eph 5:13-14)

It can be embarrassing to have our behavior brought to light...but we need to seek that help.  Yes, it makes it all visible, but it causes us to wake up, come to our senses, and rise from fleshly death to a wonderful life with Christ. Go to your spiritual family and grow; let go of the world.

BQ: If we give in to spiritual addiction to the world, we end up being partakers with the world and its darkness rather than ambassadors of light to it. We must be lights, not darkness:

“No one after lighting a lamp puts it in a cellar or under a basket, but on a stand, so that those who enter may see the light."

Notice the warning here to keep our light shining bright. There is no provision to sometimes hide it. As Christians, we can't let ourselves sometimes go out and get drunk at the bar with our friends! We can't pick some person we "love" and sleep around with him/her. When we do that, we embrace spiritual death and darkness for ourselves and our "friends."

BQ: I once knew a man who was addicted to the world, always going to the bars with friends and always drinking.  This friend engaged in a lot of bad behavior but told me, "My friends aren't Christians, but when we go out I convey Christ to them in a big-picture manner."

I was heartbroken for this person, as the symptoms of Luke 11:34-35 were present,

"Your eye is the lamp of your body. When your eye is healthy, your whole body is full of light, but when it is bad, your body is full of darkness.  Therefore be careful lest the light in you be darkness!"  

As Christians, we cannot partake in the activities of the world. It is incompatible with life in the Light. When we do, we delude ourselves into thinking that we are full of light, but the light in us becomes darkness. The last time I ever spoke to my old friend, he was no longer assembling. Though always in my prayers, it is a tale of the greatest sadness for me. Be careful! 

BQ: Yesterday we saw an example of a person who was convinced that he was "spreading the light" while out engaging in dark deeds of the flesh to fuel his addiction for the world. God warns us of this delusion, saying,

"If we say we have fellowship with Him while we walk in darkness, we lie and do not practice the truth," and that, "they are blind guides of the blind, and if a blind man guides a blind man, both will fall into a pit."  (1 John 1:6; Mt 15:14)

This man was convinced that he was spreading the light of Christ, but was engaged in the darkness. While in the darkness, we are blind and cannot see, and we stray from Christ's path, and those we take with us, too. There is nothing sadder.





 

BQ: When we become spiritually addicted to the world, wanting to avoid the light, which can burn painfully, can become a deadly byproduct which can speed up spiritual decay.  This sort of pain is something that we have to go through, and Daniel 12:20 has a prophecy of Christians noting just that, saying,

"Many will be purged, purified and refined, but the wicked will act wickedly; and none of the wicked will understand, but those who have insight will understand."

Refining, as referenced of silver and metal, is done in a bright, hot fire. That process isn't fun,but it is purifying—yet if we embrace the world, we don't understand that. Pursue a new world and refinement, not an old one of sin and death. 
 

BQ: Christians sometimes return to the world, and the addictions of the flesh, but not by simply jumping whole-hog back into sin. Usually it starts with a few small, fun desires of the flesh, and an hunger for the world instead of a "hunger and thirst for righteousness." (Mt 5:6)

It is this sort of behavior that leads God to warn us, "not to think of himself more highly than he ought to think, but to think with sober judgment, each according to the measure of faith that God has assigned." (Rom 7:24)  

If you think that you can have just a tiny sip of an old appetite for the flesh, you're thinking to highly of yourself, because Satan plans everything to draw you back in.


 

BQ: God warns us not to think too highly of ourselves, and to use sober judgment. Often a Christian's sliding back into the world begins with hanging out with bad friends, and thinking very highly of our abilities to withstand the onslaught of worldly pleasure. But God warns us, "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals." (1 Cor 15:33)

I've seen many Christians hang out with partiers, which slowly leads them to party, and then they begin assembling more with people of the world and partaking of worldly things than fulfilling the great commission. 

We must be extra careful that we do not become those who "know God’s righteous decree that those who practice such things deserve to die, they not only do them but give approval to those who practice them." (Rom 1:32) 







BQ: Romans 1:32 warns us not to become those who encourage and engage in fleshly destruction. I watched this happen to one Christian  man who liked the bars, as I've mentioned.  As a refresher, he'd been immersed and growing, but he went back to his non-Christian girlfriend and partying.

This man had liked to drink, and so when he was with her, he'd drink a little to keep things "socially lubed." This slowly led to him going to the bars every now and then with their old friends, and from their, to missing assembly every now and then.

Eventually, he no longer assembled at all. Remember how bad company corrupts good morals? Remember how God says to use sober judgement and not to think too highly of ourselves? My friend didn't heed those warnings, and became a man who both engaged in worldly behavior and encouraged it, and so became one with the world.  We have to be very careful to not let those old desires come back.






BQ:  We simply CANNOT compromise with sin. We cannot decide to go "partying just once." We can't compromise with what is essence addiction. Like an addict who goes back, we can be those who

"after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first." (2 Pet 2:20)

Don't mess with the old addictions. Don't compromise. Kick that slave to sing and death out. Keep him dead, period. 






BQ: The zombie apocalypse is always something to see when it's in a movie. Yet when we're addicted to sin and start hanging out with the world, we rarely think of zombies, but instead think of the happiness and "fun" that occurs when we engage in the desires of our flesh. 

What we should see, instead of people happily getting totally wasted, is the true, invisible, spiritual state of these lost individuals. Zechariah says of the lost, "their flesh will rot while they stand on their feet, and their eyes will rot in their sockets, and their tongue will rot in their mouth." (Zech 14;12)

It'd be a lot harder for us to go back to that rotten life of sin and death if we saw spiritual reality as it is—not pretty at all. 







BQ: Spiritual addictions are more easily concealed, which makes them doubly deadly, and there can be a time where we go too far down the rabbit hole to recover. Hebrews 6:4-6 warns us about this, saying, 

"For in the case of those who have once been enlightened and have tasted of the heavenly gift and have been made partakers of the Holy Spirit,  and have tasted the good word of God and the powers of the age to come,  and then have fallen away, it is impossible to renew them again to repentance, since they again crucify to themselves the Son of God and put Him to open shame."

Don't risk delving too deep. Don't delve back into the grave looking for the old man at all, in fact. Leave him dead and buried.

Swearing, cussing; cursing.

BQ: If a seemingly healthy Christian is prone to swearing when upset, it reveals a sickness beneath the surface. The words we say when upset are often an indicator of our deeper, truer spiritual health. 

No matter how healthy we seem on the outside,  "the mouth speaks out of that which fills the heart.  The good man brings out of his good treasure what is good; and the evil man brings out of his evil treasure what is evil." (Mt 12:34-35)

The truth is, if "from the same mouth come both blessing and cursing...these things ought not to be this way."  (James 3:10-12)  

Hurt for trying to help?

BQ: Sometimes, people who are spiritually sick will even lash out at you and hurt you when you want to help. If you've seen a trapped, injured animal, this is common when you're trying only to release them from something which is killing them. Do you give up and let Satan take all the way over?

Luke 11:5-8 has a take on a situation in a different light, but the concept is sound. A man goes to someone's house at midnight to ask for a meal for a traveler, and the following happens:

‘Do not bother me; the door has already been shut and my children and I are in bed; I cannot get up and give you anything.’ I tell you, even though he will not get up and give him anything because he is his friend, yet because of his persistence he will get up and give him as much as he needs."

Without persistence, nothing good will be accomplished.  If you want to free someone, you need to never give up. 






BQ: I mentioned that people suffering from sin will also lash out when you try to help them. God knows this, and that's why he describes those as suffering from sin as in 2 Pet 2:20-22,

"For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first. For it would be better for them not to have known the way of righteousness, than having known it, to turn away from the holy commandment handed on to them.  It has happened to them according to the true proverb, “A dog returns to its own vomit.”

And in verse 12, He wrote, "But these, like unreasoning animals, born as creatures of instinct to be captured and killed..."

When we're enslaved to sin, we can be like unreasoning animals, lashing out at those who help. But in sin, we indulge the flesh, fornicating, drinking in great excess, and never stopping, much as animals do. 






BQ: We saw that in helping free someone from sin, we can accomplish nothing if we decide that, well, we have to give up. 

In Deut 31:6, God said, “Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid or terrified because of them, for the LORD your God goes with you; He will never leave you nor forsake you.”

When people you're trying to help hurt you for your efforts, don't be afraid of them, and don't get caught up in the cruelty. But at the same time, God refuses to leave and forsake us, so do not totally write the injured off. 





BQ: When you try to help someone who is spiritually ailing, it's not always sugar and spice and everything nice. Sometimes a person will instead turn on you and tear you down.  

Is this anything new?

No. Jesus came and was perfect, the embodiment of love. For that, He was crucified. We, too, have to expect backlash every now and then, and like Jesus, even from people who at first profess their love for us. 

What do you do if that happens?

A good example is from Acts 16 with Paul and Silas. A crowd of those Paul and Silas wanted to help instead rose up against them, and they were beaten and thrown in prison. Sometimes, when a friend hurts you, you'll feel like this emotionally. I love the response from both Paul and Silas, though, who after this happened, "were praying and singing hymns of praise to God." (Acts 16:25)

When you've been hurt, giving some praise to God with a brother or sister, studying the Bible, and dwelling on Him really help. It always helps me.  I am blessed to know many who build me up when I'm down. Having a spiritual support network is better than anything the world could ever offer. 




BQ: When helping a friend out of sin, it can hurt that individual. They can feel bashed or embarrassed.  Do not say, "You bad person, you! You're a liar and nothing but," but rather, "You're a great person who needs help fixing this issue. Let's work on it together."

The writer of Hebrews came down pretty hard on the audience of the letter for their flaws, but in Hebrews 6:9 said, "But, beloved, we are convinced of better things concerning you, and things that accompany salvation, though we are speaking in this way." 

We have to make it clear that, though we are speaking in this way, that we are convinced of the excellence within them.

What if you died today?

We've all seen the billboards.

The ones that ask the thought provoking question "What if you DIED today???" 
It's a good question, but I'm not asking that one today!

Christian friends, 
Have you LIVED today?

If indeed you love Christ, and you are living for Him, then you are modeling His actions!

"I have been crucified with Christ. It is no longer I who live, but Christ who lives in me. And the life I now live in the flesh I live by faith in the Son of God, who loved me and gave himself for me." Gal 2:20

Have you looked into the eyes of a complete stranger today and smiled, knowing that person was created in the image of God and needs love just like anyone else?

Have you made the effort to help those in need, as Jesus did?

Have you been a listening ear and a shoulder to lean on?

Have you written a friendly letter to someone who needs encouragement?

"But love your enemies, and do good, and lend, expecting nothing in return, and your reward will be great, and you will be sons of the Most High, for he is kind to the ungrateful and the evil." Luke 6:35

"And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up.
So then, as we have opportunity, let us do good to everyone, and especially to those who are of the household of faith." Gal 6:9-10

"For here we have no lasting city, but we seek the city that is to come.
Through him then let us continually offer up a sacrifice of praise to God, that is, the fruit of lips that acknowledge his name.
Do not neglect to do good and to share what you have, for such sacrifices are pleasing to God." Hebrews 13:14-16

"Let love be genuine. Abhor what is evil; hold fast to what is good.
Love one another with brotherly affection. Outdo one another in showing honor.
Do not be slothful in zeal, be fervent in spirit, serve the Lord.
Rejoice in hope, be patient in tribulation, be constant in prayer.
Contribute to the needs of the saints and seek to show hospitality.
Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse them.
Rejoice with those who rejoice, weep with those who weep.
Live in harmony with one another. Do not be haughty, but associate with the lowly. Never be wise in your own sight.
Repay no one evil for evil, but give thought to do what is honorable in the sight of all.
If possible, so far as it depends on you, live peaceably with all." Romans 12:9-18

Step out of your personal sphere of life today and joyfully reach out to someone in whatever way you can! Spread the joy of Christ! Sometimes the smallest acts of kindness are the most well remembered (loaves and fishes, anyone?) -- and as always, since you are living for Christ, give the glory to Christ in all these things. For HE is where this joy begins and eternally extends.

"For even the Son of Man came not to be served but to serve, and to give his life as a ransom for many." Mark 10:45

The greatest thing you could do for someone today? Share God's Word and the saving message of the Gospel-- but even that conversation, begins with a simple smile.

Do you fully trust God?

Do you trust God? No, really, do you FULLY. TRUST. GOD?

Many times I have struggled with the attitude that I can handle life on my own. I've got an independent streak... Well, actually, let's just admit that I can be stubborn as a mule. Yet, in the end, I find myself weary and inadequate to handle all the curveballs that come my way. Then I remember Matt 11:28:
"Come to me, all who labor and are heavy laden, and I will give you rest."

Sadly, I realize that far too often I neglect the "Come to me" part. It's so easy to look for answers in a "self help" book or in the advice of a good friend-- and don't get me wrong, those things can be helpful-- but will they truly provide REST to one's soul? Our lives on earth are a vapor, but God is eternal. His wisdom existed before creation. He knows what our hearts need. His Word is the ultimate counsel and His love is the ultimate comfort. He knows us inside and out!

With such an Awesome God at the helm, why would we hesitate to give our trust to Him?

Maybe we are afraid. Afraid that what God *knows* is best for us, won't match up with what we *want* to be best for us... Or that it will take too long... Or fill in the blank ... 
But Proverbs 29:25 says:
"The fear of man lays a snare, but whoever trusts in the LORD is safe."

Maybe we are letting the things of the world overwhelm us, allowing our energy to go toward worry, rather than prayer and study. 
But Proverbs 16:20 says:
"Whoever gives thought to the word will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD."

Maybe we just want to be "the one in control" or simply put, our pride gets in the way. Again Proverbs has the answer:
"A greedy man stirs up strife, but the one who trusts in the LORD will be enriched.
Whoever trusts in his own mind is a fool, but he who walks in wisdom will be delivered." 28:25-26

We've all got excuses-- I know I'm guilty of all of them!

But here's the kicker! If we want rest for our souls, we know right where to find it. We have to make time for God's Word and it needs to fill our hearts and our thoughts.

As Christians, we are assured not only do "...all things work together for good to them that love God, to them who are the called according to his purpose." Rom 8:28,

But also that "God is faithful, by whom you were called into the fellowship of his Son, Jesus Christ our Lord." 1 Cor 1:9

God will take care of us and He is the definition of trustworthy.

Praise God for His patience as we learn to trust Him more with all aspects of the lives He blessed us with!!!

I leave you with this beautiful picture, painted by the words of Jeremiah:

"Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD.
He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit." Jeremiah 17:7-8

As soon as Zion travailed, she brought forth her sons.

With thanks to Rio and Miriam, about something that has been on my mind.

I have personally watched Christian friends slip into the world, committing both spiritual suicide with themselves, and spiritual murder with the things they did with others, and encouraged others to do. And those times have been the most painful of my life, bar none.  And those times have been the most painful of my life, bar none. A lot of that pain comes from the pain of knowing what I've been, and the damage I've caused in the past.

Even if you don't personally like the person that much, the pain is devastating, because there is nothing you can do.  You cannot be the conscience for someone who wants his or her conscience to be seared.  Often, these people will apply a veneer of godliness, so that they can look at their fake reality and call it real, but the poison runs deep and is killing them.

What do you do? Do you delete such a person from your life? Do you utterly abandon them?  

I have often done that. I don't think it's right. It was my selfish way of protecting myself from pain. I once encouraged my mother and sister to abandon someone who caused them great pain and tears. They refused.  Instead of letting the person simply get off easy, they were loving but also truthful.  Their efforts were met seemingly forever with rejection and cruelty.

And yet God says, "Those who sow in tears shall reap with shouts of joy!" (Psalms 126:5)

Who wants to sow a field with such effort that it causes them to cry? Isn't it easier to just abandon that plot and more on to easier territory? 

My sister and mom didn't. They sowed in tears. Eventually, the person they loved changed. Hard times came. Rock bottom was hit. This person was abandoned. And suddenly, the person realized that through everything she had done, despite the evil of it, two people were still compassionate. Compassionate despite the way they'd been treated. And indeed, none of the person's actions had been more than passing pleasure.  And in the end, my mother and sister reaped with joyful shouting.

Compare that with two of my own examples. Both times, I saw someone reverting back to their old friends and old ways, including drinking. Both times, I said, "That hurts me and is repulsive behavior. You're otta' my life."  And both these people, now, are fully surrounded by the world, molded into it as a part of it, horrifically deep.  Attempts by me now to say, "Hey, I care about you," have no weight behind them. Because I gave up. Instead of being loving but correcting, I threw away anything, including hope, no matter how small.

Jeremiah 17:7-8 says, "Blessed is the man who trusts in the LORD, whose trust is the LORD. He is like a tree planted by water, that sends out its roots by the stream, and does not fear when heat comes, for its leaves remain green, and is not anxious in the year of drought, for it does not cease to bear fruit." 

Are you like that? If you persist in love, will you not remain green? Are you afraid of the pain, and willing to wilt away from hope and caring? There is only one way to bear fruit, and it is through persistence. 

Sometimes, however, when you are persistent, people will reject you. It happens. As my friend Rio once told me as a wake-up call, and this is paraphrased "Sometimes nothing you do can reach people, and you'll be consumed."  You have to know when that point is, but you can also make the conscious decision to not simply and utterly reject them.

The truth with the person struggling is that we do not know if they will be overcome, or shall overcome.  We cannot make the call with their struggles, or with their future.  We cannot condemn their hearts, but can see their difficulties. 

And more importantly, sometimes people have to hit utter rock bottom. They have to be at the lowest, where the sun does not shine, before they decide they don't want to be in the pit. 

God tells us that a struggle is present, and that it shall not come without weeping. For our struggles, for our help, and for the struggles of others, it is often true that much pain must be endured before we conquer. 

In Isaiah 66:8, God confirms this and says, "Who has heard such a thing? Who has seen such things? Can a land be born in one day? Can a nation be brought forth all at once? As soon as Zion travailed, she also brought forth her sons."

New birth does not come without pain and persistence, but we have to maintain the hope of beautiful things to come. We must have the attitude that we would, "could wish that I myself were accursed, separated from Christ for the sake of my brethren, my kinsmen according to the flesh." (Romans 9:3)

And if you're sad, hurt, and damaged, remember, "Whoever gives thought to the word will discover good, and blessed is he who trusts in the LORD." (Proverbs 16:20)  When you're feeling darkest and down in the dumps, dwell even stronger in the Word.

"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Do not be frightened, and do not be dismayed, for the Lord your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9)

It's Hard to Forgive!

It's Hard to Forgive!

Do you find it difficult to forgive others who have hurt you?

This is no simple question. Sure, if someone does something unintentionally, or is apologetic... It's pretty easy to forgive them.

What if they hurt you purposefully, callously, and could not care less if you've been deeply wounded by their words and actions?

Should we wait for an apology that may never come?

Many of us are familiar with the verses like this one:

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15
(see also Mark 11:25, Col 3:13)

We know that for God to forgive us, me must be forgiving of others. Sounds simple, right? So what is it that holds us back, that makes it so gut wrenchingly hard sometimes to just let go of the infractions we tightly grasp in our fists and hold over the head of the offender?

For that we must look at our own hearts. What are we storing up? Anger and bitterness, or joy and compassion?

"The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

If we store up anger and resentment, it will show up in all parts of our life-- creating new victims, and continuing the cycle of hurt. BUT, what if we do this instead:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." Proverbs 3:5-8

Oh what joy it will be to find that HEALING! The kind of healing that penetrates beyond the surface and into our very bones!

We may never understand why that person did what they did! They may never offer a meaningful apology, if they offer one at all. But does it matter whether or not the offender deserves our forgiveness? Does it matter if they appreciate it? It's certainly a nice thought and a great hope. And perhaps our attitude of forgiveness can prick their heart and start them on the path that leads to redemption. (That's not to say that we should allow ourselves to be hurt again-- some situations require that we keep a distance for safety sake.)

But when it comes to forgiving those who have hurt us, we must first remember that God tells us it is vital. After all, we have a Savior who ***gave His very life*** so we ourselves could have forgiveness-- and He did this for everyone, when no one deserved it, whether they loved Him or not. God wants us to extend that same love to others.

It may take time, and it won't be easy, but we must work to empty our hearts of dark thoughts and allow them to be refreshed by the healing power of God's ways.

Need a good place to start renewing your thoughts? Here is some wisdom from Phillipians 4:8-- "...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

And Col 3:12-13--
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."


One more thought-- forgiveness is a topic with many sides and faces. For those dealing with difficult people on a daily basis-- I pray for you. It is a hard journey to have to forgive the same hurts over and over, with no relief in sight.

"Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?"

Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:21-22

Wow. That's hard. Almost seems impossible, but remember: "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Phil 4:13

Keep fighting the good fight and be a light for the sake of Christ-- and when you are weak, when you fail, have mercy on yourself. Pray for strength and try, try again.

How Do We Find Peace When Someone Hurts Us?

Have you even been deeply hurt by another person?

Has your world been turned upside down in an instant because of someone else's sin?

Sadness, anger, confusion and despair are certainly some of the natural reactions, but what should Christians do with these feelings? It would not be healthy to repress them, nor should we allow them to become destructive forces in our lives. But HOW do we find PEACE???

The answer is in giving our troubles over to our Savior. He loves us and gladly carries our burdens. When we have hard times, we MUST share our sorrows with God in prayer. We must LISTEN to Him, TRUST Him, and LOVE Him. In doing so, we just might find it easier to love those around us, even when they hurt us. We might even find the kind of compassion that Jesus felt toward us when He gave His life for us-- when we were yet sinners who did not love Him. And ultimately, we must believe that He not only forgives us, but helps us forgive others as well.

In the book of Psalms, King David freely expressed his many troubles and frustrations to God, but always knew God loved him and was with Him. His words still offer great encouragement:

"Cast your burden on the LORD, and he will sustain you; he will never permit the righteous to be moved." Psalm 55:22

"In God, whose word I praise, in the LORD, whose word I praise, in God I trust; I shall not be afraid. What can man do to me? I must perform my vows to you, O God; I will render thank offerings to you. For you have delivered my soul from death, yes, my feet from falling, that I may walk before God in the light of life." Psalm 56:10-13

"Be merciful to me, O God, be merciful to me, for in you my soul takes refuge; in the shadow of your wings I will take refuge, till the storms of destruction pass by. I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills his purpose for me. He will send from heaven and save me; he will put to shame him who tramples on me. Selah. God will send out his steadfast love and his faithfulness!" Psalm 57:1-3

We don't have to carry our burdens alone. God is strong!-- He will take them.

We don't have to suffer our hurts alone. God is kind!-- He will comfort us.

Let Him! ...and you will be on the way to finding peace. 

Secret Sin: Can You Keep It Hidden?

Food for thought and the stout of stomach:

I have personal reasons to address this heavy topic today, but it is my hope to prick your hearts and dampen the power of evil that has so strong a hold on too many souls in this world. And so I ask:

What dark secrets are you hiding?

How long do you think you have before they will be discovered?

It really doesn't matter how clever you are, how carefully you cover your tracks or how masterfully you might be able to manipulate those around you. No matter how hard we try, we cannot conceal our sin from God, and He has the power to reveal it to anyone, at any time.

"Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops." Luke 12:2-3

Are you ready for that?!?

"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption..." Gal 6:7-8a

Sin reaps corruption! That's a harsh saying and a hard truth, isn't it? Some sin is easy to confess and some sin is so shameful, so utterly vile that we might rather die than to speak it aloud, but even that sin is forgiveable.

What do we do?? For one, we could repent and confess of our sins (which means STOP IT! and FIX IT!) letting Christ wash it away OR continue in our delusion that we are in control and will never be found out.

Choosing the first, we can continue in Galatians to see that:
"...the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." 8a-9

Trade the physical for the Spiritual! Do GOOD, have patience, and be determined never to give up! The reward is beyond any fading lust or pleasure we experience here-- it is eternal life in paradise!

Still don't think you're touchable? Still think what you're doing isn't hurting anyone? What they don't know won't hurt them, isn't that the saying? If you've got the idea you are just fine, consider the warning of Titus:

"To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work." Titus 1:15-16

If you aren't obeying God, if you refuse to fight your sin, beware, lest you go so far down the path of destruction that you develop a defiled conscience that cannot guide you back the right way. If you are unfit for any good work, what are you fit for?

No pity parties! No excuses! Your sin hurts those you love and it is your choice to change that path. . . . 

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER your Savior waits for you with love and open arms, He will forgive you. He's pretty awesome like that. 

7 Ways to Destroy a Marriage

1.) Stop communicating. 

Ephesians 5:23-30 says,

"For the husband is the head of the wife, as Christ also is the head of the church, He Himself being the Savior of the body....Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her...So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself;  for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church, because we are members of His body."

In life, our bodies constantly communicate with our heads, and vice versa. What happens if suddenly that communication stops? Usually paralysis, and if it's bad enough, death. Communication both ways is needed for the the organism to survive, and in marriage we are considered "one flesh" and thus one organism.  If you want to kill any relationship, stop communicating. It'll be dead before you know it.








2.) Confide in a friend of the opposite sex. 

What routinely kills marriages is one partner developing strong emotional bonds with someone of the opposite sex. This is true of any romantic relationship. If you need emotional support, go to your spouse. Your spouse must be your best friend. 1 Cor 13:4 reminds us that, "love does not envy," and if you're making your spouse jealous for the bond he/she wants to have with you, you're introducing something which is certainly not love. 

If you let someone else take the place of your partner emotionally, sexually, or physically, you're making a choice to tear down everything that you've built.









3.) Demean or insult your spouse.

Eph 5:29 points out that in a marriage, "no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church." If you are belittling your spouse instead of encouraging him/her, there's no nourishment going on. The relationship will grow as well as a plant watered with paint thinner, because insults and belittling statements cause envy and are utterly toxic. 

It's worth noting that comparing your spouse or romantic interest negatively to someone else is the absolute most deadly thing to do. "Well Jerry is more manly," or, "Jessica's a lot more feminine" shows that not only do you not appreciate the one you claim to love, but that you're thinking about someone else, too...and viewing them as a more desirable mate.








4.) Stop having sex.

Sex is a great thing which God has provided, and is an intimate thing between only you and your spouse. It is a bond that has been committed to with words, and, at a physiological level, even with chemicals. It you stop seeing it as important, your relationship will almost certainly head downhill, unless there is mutual apathy, in which case it's already in trouble. Look at the importance that God places on it in 1 Cor 7:3-5,

"The husband should fulfill his marital duty to his wife, and likewise the wife to her husband. The wife's body does not belong to her alone but also to her husband. In the same way, the husband's body does not belong to him alone but also to his wife. Do not deprive each other except by mutual consent and for a time, so that you may devote yourselves to prayer. Then come together again so that Satan will not tempt you because of your lack of self-control."

If you stop making love, you give Satan another avenue to tempt and try to destroy a marriage.







5.) Start keeping secrets.

I once saw a post that discussed relationships which were budding, and it said:

 “The Detective Rule”. "The idea is simple: if you find yourself playing detective with someone, you remove them from your life immediately. Remember your Constant? Do you play detective with them? Do you cyberstalk their Facebook page and question their every intention? No, of course not. So you know the common denominator is external."

God speaks in Job about trust, and there are two types which play out. In Job 11:18, there is trust that is solid, "“Then you would trust, because there is hope; And you would look around and rest securely."  Notice the confidence and ability to rest well and be at peace. On the other hand, if our spouse keeps secrets, we start to have "confidence that is fragile, and trust that is a spider's web."  (Job 8:14)

Don't keep secrets. You'll both be able to sleep easily at night.








6.) Spend lots of time around people who don't like your spouse or loved one.

I have seen this one happen a LOT.  Every time I've seen it, it's been the mother or father (or both) who hate who their child has married or is in love with. This is a recipe for disaster because, as Matthew 6:24 notes, "No one can serve two masters, for either he will hate the one and love the other, or he will be devoted to the one and despise the other."

Suddenly the spouse will be trying to maintain the relationship with the friends or family who dislike who he/she has married, and in doing so, they have to subtly ally themselves with these individuals.  

If that happens, we need to remember that, "For this reason a man shall leave his father and his mother, and be joined to his wife; and they shall become one flesh." (Gen 2:24)  A new family has been made, and bitterness from an old family cannot be present. The husband and wife must be one flesh, and must both refuse to allow an emotional war to take place. 








7.) Quit trying.

"Courage doesn't always roar. Sometimes courage is the quiet voice at the end of the day saying 'I will try again tomorrow.'" —Mary Radmacher 

If your goal is success, you must keep striving toward it. If neither partner gives up, success will result, but if just one partner gives up, destruction is guaranteed.  "And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up...Not by might, nor by power, but by my Spirit, says the LORD of hosts." ( Gal 6:9 & Zech 4:6)

Are you keeping secrets?

BQ: One of the worst places we can get as a Christian is where we're doing nasty stuff and trying to keep it on the down-low; making sure that it stays secret. Eph 5:11-12 says, 

"And have no fellowship with the unfruitful works of darkness, but rather expose them.  For it is shameful even to speak of those things which are done by them in secret."

If we're keeping our nasty habits a secret, we can't get the help that we need to overcome them. If you have a tough personal issue, find a brother or sister who is willing to help you and reach out to them.  Alcoholics Anonymous figured this out, but often we have too much pride! 

BQ: Sometimes Christians will do stuff that isn't becoming and say that it's not that bad, but...at the same time, they won't tell anyone at assembly/church about it. 2 Timothy 2:15 says,  

"Be diligent to present yourself approved to God, a worker who does not need to be ashamed."

When we're hiding stuff from people, it's often because we're ashamed. A good rule of thumb is, "if you wouldn't want everyone at assembly knowing about it, it's probably best not to do it."

BQ: Sometimes we are able to push our consciences to the side while we are ourselves doing rotten things. Something I also ask myself to wake myself up is, "Is what I'm doing now something I'd want my son or daughter to do? Is it something that I'd condone them doing?" 

Proverbs 22:6 says, "Train up a child in the way he should go, and when he is old he will not depart from it."  

If you swear a lot, your child has a large chance of doing the same. If you hang out at the bars, you'd better imagine your daughter doing the same, and taking the same risks, especially with driving, being unable to reach others spiritually, and messing up sexually.  Better than that, though, is having a love for your children, and the children of those around you, and instead acting like Christ. PS-I don't have kids, but I love them, so it still works for me. One day!

The Barnabases among us.

BQ:  Acts 9 describes how Saul of Tarsus, after his experience with Jesus on the road to Damascus, was trying to associate with Christians. He had a tough go of it, since Christians avoided him like the plague—after all, he'd been murdering them. Let's read Acts 9:26-27 and see who helped him:

"When he came to Jerusalem, he was trying to associate with the disciples; but they were all afraid of him, not believing that he was a disciple. But Barnabas took hold of him and brought him to the apostles and described to them how he had seen the Lord on the road, and that He had talked to him, and how at Damascus he had spoken out boldly in the name of Jesus."

Everyone knows a ton about Paul in the New Testament, but sometimes we gloss over what we view as "lesser" characters. Above, we saw that Barnabas was a very forgiving, kind, and, in his own fashion, brave man. What do you know about Barnabas? Over the next few days, we'll learn more about this awesome man.





BQ: Yesterday we saw that Paul was alone after his conversion, but Barnabas gave him a second chance and trusted him. Paul was always a fiery individual. Let's read Acts 15:36-41 and see some more about the character of Paul and Barnabas:

"After some days Paul said to Barnabas, “Let us return and visit the brethren in every city in which we proclaimed the word of the Lord, and see how they are.”  Barnabas wanted to take John, called Mark, along with them also. But Paul kept insisting that they should not take him along who had deserted them in Pamphylia and had not gone with them to the work. And there occurred such a sharp disagreement that they separated from one another, and Barnabas took Mark with him and sailed away to Cyprus.  But Paul chose Silas and left."

Here we see that Paul was very upset over a past wrongdoing, and not willing to put up with a chance of a relapse on the part of John Mark. Ignoring that, though, look at what it reveals about Barnabas. When Paul was looking to overcome his horrible past, Barnabas came to him and helped him when no others world.    Barnabas, we can see, is a very loving, caring, kind, forgiving, and patient. 





BQ: We've seen that Barnabas was very courageous and willing to give people second chances. When Paul wanted to join the Christians, Barnabas was the one who was willing to help him out. When John Mark wanted to re-join after his defection, Barnabas gave him another chance. 

We can learn a lot more about Barnabas, who was an exceptional individual. We really first encounter him in Acts 4:36-37, which says, "Now Joseph, a Levite of Cyprian birth, who was also called Barnabas by the apostles (which translated means Son of Encouragement), and who owned a tract of land, sold it and brought the money and laid it at the apostles’ feet."

Barnabas was not only forgiving, but giving as well, and a son of encouragement.  What we can also tell is that people of various personalities can do great things for God. Paul was also an awesome man, but not at all like Barnabas, yet they are both given recognition for helping people. 






BQ: Barnabas, we know, was encouraging, giving, forgiving, and willing to take risks to help people. We've also seen that, even in assemblies, a great person might have a sharp disagreement with you over something, as Paul did with Barnabas in regards to keeping John Mark around.  What can we learn from this?

One thing is to not let this hurt our self-worth.  No matter what Paul felt about Barnabas, Barnabas was still known as the Son of Encouragement. Also, disagreements aren't a reason to think poorly of the other person. Just like with Paul and Barnabas, we each serve a different purpose. Paul reached people that Barnabas didn't, and Barnabas reached people that Paul didn't. :) Don't let a squabble damage your ability to serve!




BQ: There's a lot to know about Barnabas. We've seen that, in many ways, he was simply a very kind and giving man. Acts 11:22-26 really highlights the need for people like him.

"They sent Barnabas off to Antioch.  Then when he arrived and witnessed the grace of God, he rejoiced and began to encourage them all with resolute heart to remain true to the Lord;  for he was a good man, and full of the Holy Spirit and of faith. And considerable numbers were brought to the Lord. And he left for Tarsus to look for Saul;  and when he had found him, he brought him to Antioch. And for an entire year they met with the church and taught considerable numbers; and the disciples were first called Christians in Antioch."

Barnabas is called a good man, and fully of the Holy Spirit and faith. His attitude is one of rejoicing and, as was his nature, encouragement. More than that, he was steadfast and resolute, and he brought many people to God. Barnabas also wasn't one to hog the limelight, but when he saw opportunity, he went to find Paul to help out! In fact, where Barnabas was teaching for an entire year was the first time we saw people being called Christians.

While certain people in the Bible get more attention than others, lesser-known individuals like Barnabas are just as important. :)  What can you learn from him?

Bottoms up!

BQ: According to the CDC, "Excessive alcohol use led to approximately 88,000 deaths and 2.5 million years of potential life lost (YPLL) each year. Further, excessive drinking was responsible for 1 in 10 deaths among working-age adults aged 20-64 years. The economic costs of excessive alcohol consumption in 2006 were estimated at $223.5 billion."  

That's a pretty staggering bunch of numbers to see! When I worked in EMS, it was always my lot to get the weekend night shifts, which meant dealing with lots of carnage from alcohol. God long ago noted the same thing, using Is 5:11-13 to describe an ancient party scene:  

"Woe to those who...stay up late in the evening that wine may inflame them! Their banquets are accompanied by lyre and harp, by tambourine and flute, and by wine; But they do not pay attention to the deeds of the Lord, Nor do they consider the work of His hands."  

Often people wait until night to start getting really wasted, and it's no surprise—alcohol degrades our ability to function. More important, though, is that alcohol in excess limits our connection to our Lord. If we want to be like Christ, we have to back away from drunkenness.

BQ: Isaiah mentioned an ancient scene of nighttime drunkenness, and it's pretty revealing that often drunkenness, theft, and other such degradation of the human condition occurs at night. I like how Romans 13:13 hints at this, saying, "Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy."

Often people are simply more apt to behave horribly at night. Why? Because darkness usually conceals the evil, at least in the minds of men. It's better to behave properly, as we would behave if we had an audience observing us in broad daylight! Always be upright.  

BQ: Rock Springs, WY was a hive of scum and villainy at times, at least for those of us working the late-night 911 shifts. One thing interesting about alcohol abuse is that it's often associated with sexual misconduct, too. This isn't anything new, and God noted in Habakkuk 2:15, 

"Woe to you who make your neighbors drink,

Who mix in your venom even to make them drunk

So as to look on their nakedness!"

Rock Springs featured a lot worse than that, but it was true that evil hasn't really changed. I saw a lot of rapes take place, to both men and women, that could only occur because of immersion in a really wretched culture. It's a good thing to stay away from places that feature the likes of what Habakkuk mentions, and worse. 

BQ: Peer pressure is a nasty, nasty thing, and one that we often convince ourselves that we're not susceptible to. What does God say about it? The most concise thing that I've found is Proverbs 1:10, which says, "if sinners entice you, do not consent."

It's really easy to be enticed to sin, and it's often an insidious, dark road to go down, without signposts to warn you how far you've gone. 2 Pet 1:5-7 has the entire way to counter this. Take a look at this full armor against peer pressure:

"Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge,  and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness,  and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love." 

Notice the compounding nature of what's being mentioned, and look right in the middle at what's featured: self-control. If we give in to peer pressure, we're letting others control us. To fight against peer pressure, start off with diligence, faith, and moral excellence, and build on that foundation.

BQ: I'm still getting around to posting some older BQs, so these are somewhat linear. :) Alcohol and going to the bars is incredibly prevalent and accepted in American society, but does God want it to be a part of Christian culture? That's rhetorical, but let's consider some reasons why.  

Alcohol, and especially bars, have been called a "meat market" by some. It lowers our inhibitions and puts us in contact with people who are doing the same; it destroys our judgment and can alter our lives forever. In Gen 19, Lot would never have committed incest if he had not been drunk, yet because he was wasted, he did, "and he did not know when she lay down or when she arose." 

While all sin is sin, some sins can carry more permanent physical consequences. Sexual misconduct associated with alcohol and social drinking can wreck a person for a lifetime; when accompanied with driving, it can take innocent lives as well.

BQ: We've seen that alcohol perverts judgment, but Satan's done a lot of work to make it seem like a normal part of life, even to Christians—surely hanging out a bar and drinking a bit doesn't really hurt anyone, right?   One thing that's being missed is what God says that alcohol does to your heart (that is, the core of your very being). 

Proverbs 23:33 says, "Your eyes will see strange things, And your heart will utter perverse things." Sometimes we try to write off drinking as "not that bad," but the fact is, it utterly destroys people from the inside out; it perverts the heart first and destroys from there. I know one man who doesn't drink, but goes to the bars. I asked him why and he said (paraphrased), "Because it's easier to take women that way, and you can take whatever woman you want, especially if you're not toasted and she is." He went on to tell me, "Those type of girls are good for a "cuddle," but aren't made to be wives, alcohol ruins them."  The sad thing is, alcohol can so ruin a person that not even a well-collected scuzzbucket wants anything to do with him or her. As Christians, we need to avoid perversion of the heart, and that means we need to avoid the alcohol scene. 

BQ: We saw that alcohol causes the heart to become perverted, and that's really not uncommon knowledge. People drink and drive, killing people and/or themselves, spend away all their money, and ruin marriages and relationships, all for another drink. When you meet someone who likes alcohol, it can be a horrific struggle for him or her to overcome. Often, they're dependent on it.

God warns us to be "not given to wine," in 1 Tim 3:3, yet for someone who likes their booze, they often wake up to say, "I will seek it again." (Pro 23:35) 

BQ:  Proverbs 23:35 says those who drinking steadily say, "When shall I awake, that I may seek another drink?”  Without alcohol, a core part of their lives are gone. What's wrong, though, with seeking a drink?

The problem is in what they're seeking. A song says, "Savior, in my joy or sorrow, I will ever go to Thee," and this sentiment is reflected in Phil 4:11-13 and several other passages of scripture. Compare that with someone who really enjoys alcohol. When they get off work, they go to the bottle instead of the Bible. In sadness they may seek a bar instead of their Christian family. If they want to be joyful, they may head out to party or bonfire with plenrt of beer instead of going to spiritually build someone up. The entire core of the heart gains a slight perversion as Proverbs 23:33 mentions, like water with oil on top.

BQ: Ultimately, alcohol destroys lives, marriages, and the heart.  God sums up his opinion on recreational drug use (and alcohol is a potent drug) by saying, "Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober." (1 Thess 5:6) We're in an army, and the devil is prowling about. If we're hooked on booze, we're easy prey.

If you have a chance to go out to a bar, think of something which will build Christ's body up instead. If you have a chance to get wasted in your own home, call a brother or sister and do something else. Have a Bible study, go appreciate the world God has created, or do something else productive. No matter what, though, "Be sober, be vigilant; because your adversary the devil walks about like a roaring lion, seeking whom he may devour." 1 Pet 5:8

Out at the bar? A night on the town?

BQ: According to the CDC, "Excessive alcohol use led to approximately 88,000 deaths and 2.5 million years of potential life lost (YPLL) each year. Further, excessive drinking was responsible for 1 in 10 deaths among working-age adults aged 20-64 years. The economic costs of excessive alcohol consumption in 2006 were estimated at $223.5 billion."
 

That's a pretty staggering bunch of numbers to see! When I worked in EMS, it was always my lot to get the weekend night shifts, which meant dealing with lots of carnage from alcohol. God long ago noted the same thing, using Is 5:11-13 to describe an ancient party scene:
 

"Woe to those who...stay up late in the evening that wine may inflame them! Their banquets are accompanied by lyre and harp, by tambourine and flute, and by wine; But they do not pay attention to the deeds of the Lord, Nor do they consider the work of His hands."
 

Often people wait until night to start getting really wasted, and it's no surprise—alcohol degrades our ability to function. More important, though, is that alcohol in excess limits our connection to our Lord. If we want to be like Christ, we have to back away from drunkenness

 

 

BQ: Isaiah mentioned an ancient scene of nighttime drunkenness, and it's pretty revealing that often drunkenness, theft, and other such degradation of the human condition occurs at night. I like how Romans 13:13 hints at this, saying, "Let us behave properly as in the day, not in carousing and drunkenness, not in sexual promiscuity and sensuality, not in strife and jealousy."

Often people are simply more apt to behave horribly at night. Why? Because darkness usually conceals the evil, at least in the minds of men. It's better to behave properly, as we would behave if we had an audience observing us in broad daylight! Always be upright. 

BQ: Rock Springs, WY was a hive of scum and villainy at times, at least for those of us working the late-night 911 shifts. One thing interesting about alcohol abuse is that it's often associated with sexual misconduct, too. This isn't anything new, and God noted in Habakkuk 2:15, 

"“Woe to you who make your neighbors drink,

Who mix in your venom even to make them drunk

So as to look on their nakedness!"

Rock Springs featured a lot worse than that, but it was true that evil hasn't really changed. I saw a lot of rapes take place, to both men and women, that could only occur because of immersion in a really wretched culture. It's a good thing to stay away from places that feature the likes of what Habakkuk mentions, and worse.



 

BQ: Peer pressure is a nasty, nasty thing, and one that we often convince ourselves that we're not susceptible to. What does God say about it? The most concise thing that I've found is Proverbs 1:10, which says, "if sinners entice you, do not consent."

It's really easy to be enticed to sin, and it's often an insidious, dark road to go down, without signposts to warn you how far you've gone. 2 Pet 1:5-7 has the entire way to counter this. Take a look at this full armor against peer pressure:

"Now for this very reason also, applying all diligence, in your faith supply moral excellence, and in your moral excellence, knowledge,  and in your knowledge, self-control, and in your self-control, perseverance, and in your perseverance, godliness,  and in your godliness, brotherly kindness, and in your brotherly kindness, love." 

Notice the compounding nature of what's being mentioned, and look right in the middle at what's featured: self-control. If we give in to peer pressure, we're letting others control us. To fight against peer pressure, start off with diligence, faith, and moral excellence, and build on that foundation.  

Essential elements of perfection

BQ: We know that God is perfect, but what are some aspects of perfection? What does it mean? This is a very minor overview of the essential elements of perfection. God gives us the goal, and like any assignment, we're to aim for the 100%! "Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect." (Mt 5:48) The gauntlet has been cast down, so it's up to us to start figuring out what made Christ perfect, so that we can model ourselves after Him.

For today, we'll look at Mt 19:21, which says, "Jesus said to him, “If you wish to be perfect, go and sell your possessions and give to the poor, and you will have treasure in heaven; and come, follow Me.” This was a very specific statement in a very specific circumstance, but part of perfection is putting aside self and rendering sacrificial service. That's why God says, "Pure and undefiled religion in the sight of our God and Father is this: to visit orphans and widows in their distress, and to keep oneself unstained by the world." (James 1:27)

Want to walk as Christ walked? It'll take some self sacrifice to make that dream complete!

BQ: Looking at the essential elements of perfection, and thus the things which God directs us to strive toward, we've seen that self-sacrifice goes a long way, and is essential in making a person more like Jesus and less like the world. Today we'll look at a simple verse, Col 3:14:

"Beyond all these things put on love, which is the perfect bond of unity."

I've blown by this a billion times, but it only recently truly struck me that being united comes PERFECTLY, COMPLETELY through love. Love is active,  and so being united must be both a decision and a desire. 

BQ: More on the essential elements of perfection. Today we'll examine faith and works, from James 2:22. 

"You see that faith was working with his works, and as a result of the works, faith was perfected."

We know that our faith must be placed correctly, and that faith is indeed a matter of salvation. However, to have perfection of faith requires it to go hand-in-hand with what it naturally produces: loving, sacrificial work. See how it's all tying together? Want perfect faith? Without works, perfect faith doesn't exist, because, " For as the body without the spirit is dead, so faith without works is dead also." (James 2:26)

BQ: We know we want to be Christ-like. It's the perfect goal, and that picture has to be in our minds for us to soar upward. Today we'll look at another verse on perfection. From James 3:2,

"For we all stumble in many ways. If anyone does not stumble in what he says, he is a perfect man, able to bridle the whole body as well."

Perhaps the hardest thing to control is the tongue. It's so easy to speak a harsh word, or, even more, to simply be careless with our words, and thus hurt people. However, in order to resemble Christ, we need to make what we say a priority, and not just in avoiding harsh words, but in being active in doing good. Remember the verse on faith being perfected by works? About faith without works being dead? We cannot simply choose to be lazy and say nothing, but instead we must excel in our speech, encouraging, exhorting, and lifting up. (And even at times rebuking—but in love, and with gentleness.)

BQ:  Ultimately, how was Jesus perfect? In the following manner:  "but whoever keeps His word, in him the love of God has truly been perfected. By this we know that we are in Him." (1 John 2:5)

The truest love comes by loving God's word, and striving to be like His Son. Not only does it do that, but it allows us to see that we're truly in Christ. It comes when we're striving to be like Christ. It's like pulling hard and, by doing so, opening a floodgate of love. :) There's much more that could be said on all this, but I want to keep it pretty short! 

"As your heavenly father is."

BQ: God undoubtedly challenges us, and He does it in the best way: having us aim for perfection. Every military in the world has its soldiers shoot not for "just ok," but instead for 100% accuracy and excellence, and that's why the motto for the Air Force used to be, "The difficult we do immediately; the impossible takes a little longer."

God throws down the gauntlet with Matthew 5:48, saying, "Therefore you are to be perfect, as your heavenly Father is perfect."  In a world of, "I'm nothing but a black-hearted sinner,"this is a pretty stunning thing to say. How does God modify this, though? We'll see tomorrow. 

BQ: God casts down the gauntlet, saying, "be perfect," but He immediately launches into some application. What's the application when aiming for excellence? Matthew 6, which comes right after God says to be perfect, gives many examples, but starts off by saying,“Beware of practicing your righteousness before men to be noticed by them; otherwise you have no reward with your Father who is in heaven." (Mt 6:1)

He goes on to say in the same chapter that when we give to the poor, we shouldn't brag about our charity, and when we pray, we shouldn't pray to make ourselves noticed. Part of Jesus' perfection was the fact that He didn't do what He did to show off; we need to have the same attitude. 

BQ: We've seen that God threw down the gauntlet in the NT, telling His followers not to just aim for "fair-to-middlin," but to aim for the perfection of Jesus. It makes sense, because if you're never aiming high, you're going to stay pretty low. Is this a new thing for God to do, though? 

Nope! For example, consider Genesis 17:1, which says, "Now when Abram was ninety-nine years old, the Lord appeared to Abram and said to him,

“I am God Almighty;

Walk before Me, and be blameless." 

That word "blameless" is better translated, "complete, perfect; or having integrity." God's always had the same desire for us! 

BQ: I'm not looking to do a word study on "perfect" yet, as I don't feel I have the time to do it justice, but I'd still like to look at one cool use of it. Colossians 1:28 mentions perfection, saying, "We proclaim Him, admonishing every man and teaching every man with all wisdom, so that we may present every man complete in Christ."  That word, "complete," also means perfect. 

How can we be in Christ to receive this completion? As the Bible often mentions, it comes from being immersed: "all of you who were baptized into Christ have clothed yourselves with Christ." (Gal 3:27)

BQ: Another way to describe completion and perfection is that of maturity; having a lack of nothing. Heb 6:1-2 says it well, "Therefore leaving the elementary teaching about the Christ, let us press on to maturity, not laying again a foundation of repentance from dead works and of faith toward God,  of instruction about washings and laying on of hands, and the resurrection of the dead and eternal judgment."

The Air Force has a silly saying: "Aim high—fly, fight, win!" Although it's pedantic and trite, it does have some practical application. As Christians, we need to aim high, and we need to grow. We can't stop at the basics and call it good, just like no soldier can grant boot camp and call himself a special forces operator. The basics are just a foundation from which we move on to maturity, so challenge yourself to study by yourself, with others, and to be constantly immersed in a godly environment! :) Grow!!!

A fool's lips!

BQ:  Often I've said things without thinking of the results, and the results have been discord and unhappiness. What does God say about that sort of behavior? 
 

"A fool’s lips bring strife,

And his mouth calls for blows.

Keeping away from strife is an honor for a man,

But any fool will quarrel." (Pro 18:6; 20:3)

Before we speak, we should consider whether or not it will cause strife. If it will, it's better to remain silent or think of another, wiser approach. :)