BQ: Some people want to say, "You can't save the world," or, "Well you can't be perfect, so don't kill yourself trying." I like a lesson that we get from reading about Peter on this subject. Peter told Jesus in Matthew 26:33, “Even though all may fall away because of You, I will never fall away.”
Peter did abandon Jesus, but that wasn't the end of the story. Likewise, we may fall short every now and then, but that doesn't mean that those blips define us. Like the frescoes of the Cistine Chapel are not defined by some of their blemishes, but are seen as extraordinary, we shouldn't define ourselves by our mistakes. And just as importantly, we need to keep the attitude that we will never fall away!
Filtering by Category: Christian Character
Gossip isn't great.
BQ: People sometimes thrive on gossip, but what does God say about it?
"At the same time they also learn to be idle, as they go around from house to house; and not merely idle, but also gossips and busybodies, talking about things not proper to mention." (1 Tim 5:13)
"For we hear that some among you are leading an undisciplined life, doing no work at all, but acting like busybodies." (2 Thess 3:11)
The term busybody comes from the Greek, "periergazomai," which literally means to "be working round about, instead of at one's own business." Gossip is really nothing more than talking behind someone's back, and it surely isn't productive.
Forgetting the past.
BQ: I have often had a bad habit of dredging up the past when I'm upset with my loved ones. Have you ever done that? God makes a point of reminding us that holding someone's past against them isn't loving when he tells us love, " keeps no record of wrongs." (1 Cor 3:5)
Don't keep those old, nasty records of what your loved ones have done wrong, and remind them that they don't need to think of themselves like that, either! :)
BQ: This goes along with yesterday's devotional. When we're young, we tend to make a lot of mistakes. I love David's prayer which said,
"Do not remember the sins of my youth or my transgressions;
According to Your lovingkindness remember me,
For Your goodness’ sake, O Lord."
Do the same with everyone you know, because often people think very little of themselves based on their pasts. :) "A man’s discretion makes him slow to anger, And it is his glory to overlook a transgression." (Proverbs 19:1)
Gracious in speech.
BQ: One of my friends is often a butthead, but I'm often a lot worse by being a total, callous scalawag in how I speak with him. Although it's easy to chock that up to just being a part of my "charming personality," the truth is that God expects more of me. Below are two passages that really sum up how I need to be:
"Let your speech always be with grace, as though seasoned with salt, so that you will know how you should respond to each person." (Col 4:6)
"To sum up, all of you be harmonious, sympathetic, brotherly, kindhearted, and humble in spirit." (1 Pet 3:8)
Are you always gracious in speech? Harmonious? Humble? For me, this is a real struggle, but with the help of others, I'm getting better every day! :) (I'm kind of dense and need reminders.)
Just one bad apple.
BQ: When we change our lives to more godly behavior, we often want to keep parts of our old lives around. What can be especially damaging is keeping bad influences, especially when we're not very strong ourselves.
The Christians in Corinth ran into this problem and let some pretty scurrilous people remain a part of their lives, which led God to remind them that, "Don't you know that a little yeast works through the whole batch of dough?" (I Corinthians 5:6)
When we change, we need to dedicate ourselves to having out with the old and in with the new. :)
Mercy is greater than Law.
BQ: One thing that I love about God is His outstanding mercy. The Old Testament boggles the minds of some people, yet it's rich with physical representations of spiritual realities. One of these physical examples is that of mercy. In the Old Testament, there was the Ark of the Covenant, which is the agreement between God and His people—the Law. Do you know what was placed above the Ark; above the Law, being supreme to that covenant? Look at Exodus 26:34,
"You shall put the mercy seat on the ark of the testimony in the holy of holies."
It's easy to breeze over this verse, but it's incredibly important. It shows that mercy ranked higher than God's law, even in the Old Testament, and the gorgeous proof of this is seen in the placement of the mercy seat above and on top of the ark of the covenant containing the sacred law.
Responsibilites of a wife.
I'm starting a study on husbands and wives and their responsibilities. I have a few topics that I'm briefly looking at (not really sure how much I'll post here), but here's how I'm going to approach it; for now we're just looking at the wife:
Wife's responsibilities:
Excellence
Submission
Respect
Companionship
Maintenance of the home environment
Husband's responsibilities:
Leadership
Love
Nourishment
Cherishment (this word was used as late as 1913)
Excellence:
BQ: For today, let's start to look at excellence for the wife. Her responsibility is to bring glory and honor to her family, and if she does her duty well, she will be a crown to her husband. If she fails, she can really cause some damage! Proverbs 12:4 says, "An excellent wife is the crown of her husband, But she who causes shame is like rottenness in his bones."
Speaking of that, even outside of the marriage, the woman is charged with bringing glory to men, just as men are charged with bringing glory to God. "For a man indeed ought not to cover his head, since he is the image and glory of God; but woman is the glory of man." (I Corinthians 11:7)
While we'll continue on tomorrow, it's important to realize that good marriages really need the husband to see his wife as an incredible blessing from God, and one of the greatest gifts in his life, constantly amazed that he has even been allowed to marry a woman so great. "He who finds a wife finds a good thing, And obtains favor from the Lord." (Pro 18:22)
We'll discuss more on this tomorrow.
BQ: So we're looking at the responsibilities of a wife, and we're digging into why she needs to be excellent. :) Today we'll look at how to define that more by taking a look at what the opposite of it might be.
To see what "not excellent is," let's look at Pro 9:13-18 in part, where Solomon describes the foolish woman. The woman of folly is boisterous,
She is naive and knows nothing.
She sits at the doorway of her house,
On a seat by the high places of the city,
Calling to those who pass by,
Who are making their paths straight:
Obviously this isn't an excellent wife, but rather a very foolish one. Of note to me is that, lacking excellence, she tries to bring others in with her, and that seems to be pretty common for people who aim low. Talk about lacking discretion. And to REALLY talk about lacking discretion, we can go to Proverbs 11:22, which says, As a ring of gold in a swine’s snout, So is a beautiful woman who lacks discretion."
Looks just don't define an excellent wife. Even if every kiss did begin with Kay, putting one of their rings on a pig wouldn't enhance the pig or make it a better wife. Likewise, a lady without excellence of character is not going to be enhanced by her physical beauty.
BQ: In defining an excellent woman, we've also looked at what the opposite is. Today we'll see a couple of other quick verses about less-than-awesome wives (and don't worry, these exist for men, too!).
“It is better to live in a corner of a roof, than in a house shared with a contentious woman.” (Proverbs 21:9)
“It is better to live in a desert land, than with a contentious and vexing woman.” (Proverbs 21:19)
A contentious person is someone who likes to argue. God designed men to be leaders, and for women to help the men be leaders. Men often rely upon women for support, and that's one reason that woman is "the glory of man."
The natural differences between the sexes can cause issues if not managed wisely, though. A woman may want to return to a problem passively many times, mulling it over in her mind, when the man may have already put it behind him, thinking that decisions were made and that the issue was dealt with. When not expressed healthily, this can leave the husband thinking that his wife is argumentative or nagging, even if it's not truly the case. Instead of pestering, let the decision play out. Often men realized when they've failed and will learn better by having the freedom to fall flat on their faces.
BQ: Proverbs 31:10-31 describes an excellent woman, so go read it, as I'm not posting it all here. I'd like to note a couple of important passages that we sometimes gloss over. In part they are:
"The heart of her husband safely trusts her;
So he will have no lack of gain."
A great relationship is defined by trust, and it's not simply a stagnant one. Instead, it leads to great gain.
"She considers a field and buys it;From her profits she plants a vineyard...."
Women are to be good stewards of money. Often women are more inclined to go couponing, and when they've found one good deal, to return even it if they find a better one somewhere else. Men are honestly lazy sometimes. We'll go in, grab it if it doesn't seem like highway robbery, and leave—NEVER returning a purchase or spending hours up hours shopping for better deals. Women really help out their husbands by being great with money and wisely making purchasing decisions.
"Her husband also, and he praises her”
Charm is deceitful and beauty is passing,
But a woman who fears the Lord, she shall be praised."
The best definition of a great woman is one who submits to the Lord. In order for a marriage to be truly great, though, the husband needs to make sure he's praising her for all that she is.
Submission:
BQ: Uh oh...continuing to look at the role of wives, we're coming up to the topic of submission! Sound the alarm! Misogyny! Chauvinism! Sexism! Oh my! Let's start off with scripture:
"Your desire shall be for your husband, And he shall rule over you.” (Gen 3:16)
"Wives, submit to your own husbands, as is fitting in the Lord." (Col 3:18)
"But I want you to know that the head of every man is Christ, the head of woman is man, and the head of Christ is God." (1 Cor 11:3)
Submission complements authority. In order for society to function, we rely on some submission to authority. In the military, I submit to my superiors. However, that does not mean that I can go around breaking laws based off of the requirement that I submit to them.
The same is true for women and men. The family functions best with the man as the leader, but women are only to submit to them as is fitting in the Lord. If a man wants the wife to do something that God wouldn't do, then that's game over there. But if he is leading her in a Godly direction, it will be naturally fulfilling to submit to that direction, anyway!
BQ: More on submission. Sometimes people think it's a forced thing, and it's not. We'll look at the negative state of it to pull out a more positive note:
"A continual dripping on a very rainy day And a contentious woman are alike; 16 Whoever restrains her restrains the wind, And grasps oil with his right hand." (Pro 27:15-16)
A husband cannot MAKE his wife submit, nor should he try to. Instead, his own Godly example should be appealing. His leadership should make her want to follow him, and he should pick a wife who will want to go where he's going—marching onward to Zion!
Respect:
BQ: Wives need to respect their husbands, and husbands need to love their wives. For an awesome lesson on this by Luke Wilson, listen here: http://www.newcreation.us/podcasts/Marriage-Family-Part05.mp3
"Nevertheless let each one of you in particular so love his own wife as himself, and let the wife see that she respects her husband." (Eph 5:33)
Respect is something that we've studied before, and it boils down to valuing something. If you have something that you value highly, you'll think about it often, take care of it, and sing its praises. Imagine owning an Aston Martin (or a...some piece of fine jewelry; I'm not a lady so this is hard for me). Would you find yourself pointing out its flaws all the time, or treating it like some old beater? Probably not.
Remember to value and respect your husbands. And listen to that podcast, because Luke says it way better than I can!
Companionship:
BQ: Wives need to give their husbands companionship. As much as we act tough (and are!), we also have a desire to have a companion.
In Genesis 2:18-23, God saw that it was not good for man to be alone, and so He created a helper for him. Men are not meant to live lives of isolation, and wives are the solution.
In Titus 2:4-5, older women are told to teach younger women how to "phillio" their husbands, which is a form of love shown between best friends. You'd think that this would come naturally, but apparently sometimes ladies need to be taught this. "Admonish the young women to love their husbands, to love their children, to be discreet, chaste, homemakers, good, obedient to their own husbands, that the word of God may not be blasphemed."
In Acts 20:35, we learn that it is "more blessed to give than to receive." It is not just what you can get out of marriage that's important, but what you put into it. Giving reflects the Christian attitude of service to others. The husband should bring to the relationship his devotion to his wife, and his wife should give him fully the companionship that he needs.
Housekeeping:
BQ: In both Titus 2:4-5 and Proverbs 31, we saw that God appointed women as keepers of the house. This makes sense, as men are usually equipped to be our working and providing for the family. This command is sometimes looked at as being pretty demeaning today, but it isn't. In fact, it's something that women are usually better at. Anyway, read Proverbs 31 again.
Just as the husband is responsible for the incoming funds on which the family operates, the wife is responsible for managing the outflow of those funds. We saw before that the wife is noted as using the money to buy wisely, and now I'd like to point out that she's also compared to a fleet of merchant ships (Proverbs 31:14). God puts a lot of association between the wife and the smart use of finances.
“She looks well to the ways of her household, And does not eat the bread of idleness.” (Proverbs 31:27). Wives cook and manage the entire household, (Proverbs 31:15), monitor the finances, (Proverbs 31:18), and make sure that there is extra money to help those in need (Proverbs 31:20). They also make sure that their children are clothed and taught. (Proverbs 31:21-22, 26).
Lastly, it is noted throughout that the wife has incredible power, as she can set the tone not just for herself, but for the entire household. This is an incredibly weighty assignment, and one that husbands should help in, just as the wives should help the husbands.
Enjoying your spouse.
BQ: I'm thinking about doing some more stuff on marriage since I'm SOOOOO close to getting married.
We've often covered the importance of putting the spirituality first, so don't throw that to the wind. Still, when getting to know a lady, it's important for the man to ask, "Is this a relationship that I enjoy?" Sometimes, deep down, the answer is "no." Maybe it's too full of drama and turmoil, or maybe the personalities just don't match quite right so, while there is some attraction, there's not too much enjoyment.
This really goes both ways, but God tells men to, "Enjoy life with the woman whom you love all the days of your fleeting life which He has given to you under the sun." (Eccl 9:9) Before getting into a relationship for life, it's important to make sure that it will not only be edifying, but enjoyable.
Three Points for Healthy Relationships
Marriages depend on love, commitment, and discipline. Love these days, though, is often thrown about with little regard. It's come to mean, "yeah, I like you a lot," but it's often taken away in the blink of an eye for various reasons. Maybe something nicer looking comes along, or the person wants to do some damage as "punishment" for some wrong, real or not.
With that in mind, I'd like to look at some verses and apply to them to marriage, dating, etc. Basically, this is a mini-study that I've for me to correct some of my own aberrant behavior. I hope it's helpful to you, too. Let's look at 3 points that I need to work on.
1: Consistency is Key:
Starting off, let's look at Luke 7:24-27.
“Therefore everyone who hears these words of Mine and acts on them, may be compared to a wise man who built his house on the rock. And the rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and yet it did not fall, for it had been founded on the rock. Everyone who hears these words of Mine and does not act on them, will be like a foolish man who built his house on the sand. The rain fell, and the floods came, and the winds blew and slammed against that house; and it fell—and great was its fall.”
Apply this to a relationship. God is called the, "Father of lights, with whom there is no variation or shifting shadows." In our relationship with God, there is an INCREDIBLY solid foundation. Unlike sand, there is NOTHING to shift around and cause us to sink or break apart, but everything to provide the firmest foundation.
When getting a relationship started (and continuing it), it's incredibly important to be consistent and without variation. People fear the unknown, and variation puts all sorts of unknown variables into the equation, which in turn makes the relationship one with an underlying miasma of fear.
Personally, I need to work on being more consistent. I've gotten better, but I can still be somewhat inconsistent. As a man, I need to be solid, strong, and courageous, with persistence and patience. A family and marriage will need a solid foundation, and I need to provide that.
Ladies are designed as "suitable helpmates" (Gen 2:18) for men. I think of it like a puzzle. Some pieces will fit together, but not very well. In order for the puzzle to link together and really stay in place, the complementary pieces need to be hooked together. If one or both pieces are somehow changing shape and having variation, like shifting sand, it's going to be very hard for that puzzle to stay together. As suitable helpmates, women can offer great reassurance to man by being stable and consistent.
2: Tears Don't Mean Failure
It's tempting to look at a relationship and say, "Man, this is a lot of work." Sometimes relationships drive us to cry, and our effort seems fruitless. However, tears coming from working to make a relationship work don't mean failure. In fact, in our relationship with Christ, we go out to others showing love for them, and it can be painful. Psalms 126:6 says,
"He who goes to and fro weeping, carrying his bag of seed,
Shall indeed come again with a shout of joy, bringing his sheaves with him."
Our society encourages a throwaway mentality, but if you're in a relationship, don't throw it away. Stick with it through the tears, all the way to the end. The loudest shouts of joy often come when we overcome the most!
3: Do You Love Like Christ?
I used to throw people away when stuff didn't work. "Well I'm not going to date you anymore, so kindly stay 100% out of my life," was pretty much my attitude. However, I'm a Christian, which means that I am like Christ. Indeed, I say that I have the mind of Christ, which means that I can't be like that. Why not?
I often use the "l" word, but not "love" like America sees it. These days, it's serious business to me. I love everyone, and in dating or relationships, it's the same. Sometimes things MIGHT not work out; sometimes for a little bit, and sometimes permanently. But that doesn't change how I'm going to act.
Here's why:
"For I am convinced that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor things present, nor things to come, nor powers, nor height, nor depth, nor any other created thing, will be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord." (Rom 8:38-39)
I want to be like Christ, and that means I want my love to be like Christ. Just because something goes wrong doesn't mean that I'll let it separate my love from the person. Love transcends my desires and is replaced by Christ's. If you really love someone, you won't give up on them. You might be forced into a different type of relationship with them emotionally, but spiritually you'll still love them, be there for them, and seek to help them maximize their potential in Christ. That's what love is. It doesn't stop just because it's hurt or upset. It sees damage and wants to heal, it seems pitfalls and wants to help avoid, and it endures forever. It is the greatest thing we can offer.
The Heart, the Center of Life
This is a broad topic that I'll call, "At the Core, it's the Heart." It will answer the question, "What are characteristics of the heart?" Can you name some?
1st, your heart should be carefully guarded:
Watch over your heart with all diligence,
For from it flow the springs of life. (Pr 4:23)
We have to be careful with our hearts, because having damage to them damages one's entire life.
2nd, your heart determines your character:
For as he thinks within himself, so he is.
He says to you, “Eat and drink!”
But his heart is not with you. (Pr 23:7)
Kind words don't matter if not backed up by action. In being careful with our hearts, we also have to observe the actions of others that proclaim to have desire for us. Especially in romance, people can get stuck in abusive cycles by listening to the words of the abuser and not the actions.
3rd, it is the source of defilement when not cleaned:
"But the things that proceed out of the mouth come from the heart, and those defile the man."(Mt 15:18)
This is basically the same as the next one, but the heart is our character. If it's harboring some oily, dark problems, expect them to be manifested in our lives. But if it's pure and upright, expect to see it shining no matter what.
4th, it controls your speech:
"The good man out of the good treasure of his heart brings forth what is good; and the evil man out of the evil treasure brings forth what is evil; for his mouth speaks from that which fills his heart." (Lu 6:45)
Ever had someone hurt you with words on purpose? Evil words are just that: evil. They don't spring up out of nowhere, but rather flow from the heart. It's fine to be honest, but it's not fine to seek to do damage to someone else. Ever. Satan's the enemy here.
5th, it is the source of belief:
"for with the heart a person believes, resulting in righteousness, and with the mouth he confesses, resulting in salvation." (Rom 10:10)
This one is important. We can go through every nice action in the world, but if our heart does not have conviction, there is no belief, and it's all for naught. It's the same in ANY relationship. If your heart isn't in it, it's going to be hollow; a facade filled with nothing. No happy memories, nothing.
6th, it can be a deceitful thing:
“The heart is more deceitful than all else
And is desperately sick;
Who can understand it?" (Jer 17:9)
Man, this one always hits home. For me, it's in relationships. I used to be drawn to people that I knew weren't good, but I said, "Hey, that's love for you! Can't help what my heart loves." How wrong I was. The heart can be incredibly deceitful, and we need to rely instead on the mind of Christ. (1 Cor 2:16)
7th, it can be stricken by failing to obtain something desired:
"Hope deferred makes the heart sick,
But desire fulfilled is a tree of life." (Pro 13:12)
Here's a good quote to sum this up: "Delay in the accomplishment of some much-desired goal occasions sinking of the spirits and despondence; but, when the object of longing is obtained, it is a tree of life."
This is the same in our love relationships with Christ and with our marriage partners. If we delay being immersed and receiving the Holy Spirit, we often encounter needless heartsickness, because we leave a hole in our lives. The same thing can be said of a man not going for his suitable helpmate.
8th, a broken heart is a true form of illness that affects even the strongest person:
So the king said to me, “Why is your face sad though you are not sick? This is nothing but sadness of heart. Then I was very much afraid.” (Neh 2:2)
A sad heart is the hardest wound to heal.
9th, hearts can be broken, but they can also be healed and strengthened:
Reproach has broken my heart and I am so sick.
And I looked for sympathy, but there was none,
And for comforters, but I found none. (Psa 69:20)
"For it is good for the heart to be strengthened by grace." (Heb 13:9)
Luckily, God can heal any damage to us, including to our hearts, and he can strengthen us beyond our comprehension! :)
What is Manliness?
MANLINESS
BQ: What sort of thing does God consider to be manly? This seemed like a fun topic, so off we go! I'll just run through some examples.
Manliness in the OT times was often seen in battle against ungodly enemies, and it was always marked by being "strong and courageous." Below are some examples:
"Now when Joab saw that the battle was set against him in front and in the rear, he selected from all the choice men of Israel, and arrayed them against the Arameans. But the remainder of the people he placed in the hand of Abishai his brother, and he arrayed them against the sons of Ammon. He said, “If the Arameans are too strong for me, then you shall help me, but if the sons of Ammon are too strong for you, then I will come to help you. Be strong, and let us show ourselves courageous for the sake of our people and for the cities of our God; and may the Lord do what is good in His sight.” (2 Sam 10:9-12)
“I am going the way of all the earth. Be strong, therefore, and show yourself a man." (1 Kg 2:2)
Tomorrow: what's manly these days?
BQ: So we saw that manliness in the Old Testament times involved fighting physical enemies and being strong against them. What's manliness according to God in our day and age?
"You therefore, my son, be strong in the grace that is in Christ Jesus." (2 Tim 2:1)
"Be on the alert, stand firm in the faith, act like men, be strong." (1 Cor 16:13)
Manliness, we see, now comes from doing spiritual warfare. Ephesians 6 describes the importance of putting on the full ARMOR of God, because we need to be soldiers. Men especially need to be leaders of the charge and not quiet pushovers!
Characteristics of Married Love
BQ: Love in marriage is essential. This is kind of a one-off sort of BQ, but I was looking at some things that married love did in the Bible, or how it was described. It's kinda pleasant to share.
Married love brings comfort even after the death of a loved one:
"Then Isaac brought her into his mother Sarah’s tent, and he took Rebekah, and she became his wife, and he loved her; thus Isaac was comforted after his mother’s death." Gen 24:67
Married love makes time seem to go by faster and better:
"So Jacob served seven years for Rachel and they seemed to him but a few days because of his love for her." (Ge 29:20)* (Or the sort of love that will lead to a marriage, in this case, but it remained the same, so I'm including it!)
Married love cannot be replaced by all the riches in the world:
“Many waters cannot quench love,
Nor will rivers overflow it;
If a man were to give all the riches of his house for love,
It would be utterly despised.” (Song 8:7)
Spiritual Hearing Checkup: How to Tell If You're Deaf
BQ: Spiritual deafness is mentioned often throughout the Bible, and it's a lot worse than being physically deaf. I got this ball rolling for myself by reading some verses mentioned spiritual deafness, so I'll start off by relaying some of them to you.
Eze 12:2 “Son of man, you live in the midst of the rebellious house, who have eyes to see but do not see, ears to hear but do not hear; for they are a rebellious house."
Zec 7:11 "But they refused to pay attention and turned a stubborn shoulder and stopped their ears from hearing."
2 Ti 4:4 "and will turn away their ears from the truth and will turn aside to myths."
These all seem bad, and we can look at them and say, "Yep, I've met the world before and it really sucks!" However, these verses are always referring to people that are allegedly followers of God, so we need to be very careful that they're not describing us. More tomorrow.
BQ: Yay! Spiritual deafness is what we're still looking at. Yesterday we saw that people who claim to be Christians can be very spiritually deaf. Can a person truly think that they're a good-to-go, good-doing Christian and still be...ya know...in spiritual danger?
The answer is LOW ALTITUDE ALERT, CHRISTIAN, CHECK YOUR SPIRITUAL ALTITUDE IMMEDIATELY!, to use some air traffic control phraseology. This was an issue in the Old Testament times, which we see with Eccl 5:1 "Guard your steps as you go to the house of God and draw near to listen rather than to offer the sacrifice of fools; for they do not know they are doing evil."
But humans, being humans, haven't really changed, and the threat still exists in our times. Matthew 7:22-23 explains, saying, "Many will say to Me on that day, ‘Lord, Lord, did we not prophesy in Your name, and in Your name cast out demons, and in Your name perform many miracles?’ And then I will declare to them, ‘I never knew you; depart from Me, you who practice lawlessness.’"
So how can you know that you're not spiritually deaf, since some people think that their hearing is fine, but isn't? We'll learn more tomorrow.
BQ: So how can you tell if your spiritual hearing is doing well? Luke 8:15 has part of the answer! "But the seed in the good soil, these are the ones who have heard the word in an honest and good heart, and hold it fast, and bear fruit with perseverance."
Well it looks like bearing fruit is how we tell that we're hearing well, but what exactly is bearing fruit? Think about it...but don't think about too hard. When a plant bears fruit, the fruit becomes another plant just like it. A real raspberry bush will make more raspberry bushes. Same for an apple tree. So a true Christian will bear...more true Christians. :)
Mark 4 makes this a little clearer, once again pointing out the value of hearing: And He was saying to them, “A lamp is not brought to be put under a basket, is it, or under a bed? Is it not brought to be put on the lampstand? For nothing is hidden, except to be revealed; nor has anything been secret, but that it would come to light. If anyone has ears to hear, let him hear.” And He was saying to them, “Take heed how you hear."
It's incredibly important to spread the word and focus on making new Christians! Don't be deluded and dull of hearing, be a loving, listening, productive person!
Things to appreciate in Christian dating.
BQ: Because I'm a youngish single man, I'm always fairly interested in finding an awesome, Christian wife. One thing I've noticed, though, is that often Christian girls are like, "Yep, Christian dude, yawn," whereas non-Christian girls appreciate me a ton. Why might this be?
I think that Daniel starts with part of the answer in 12:3, "Those who have insight will shine brightly like the brightness of the expanse of heaven, and those who lead the many to righteousness, like the stars forever and ever." I'm not exactly full of insight, but I'm able to parrot what God says in the Bible, and I think that makes me shine a little brighter to some people in the world.
Luke 6:36-50 recounts a similar-ish thing, and in part it says, "“There was a certain creditor who had two debtors. One owed five hundred denarii, and the other fifty. And when they had nothing with which to repay, he freely forgave them both. Tell Me, therefore, which of them will love him more?43 Simon answered and said, “I suppose the one whom he forgave more.”"
People who are the most in the dark at times appreciate the light far more than those who are wandering around in broad daylight. And I'm not saying that I'm the light, but I do at least try and have my lantern shining, so maybe people are at least attracted to that! It's certainly an odd position for a young, Christian guy to be in. :)
BQ: As a single Christian, there are opportunities to date people who are also Christian. I try and always be mindful of how God views me, since my marriage to Christ comes first. If you're a Christian, what vibe do you give off?
I've seen some Christians that I wouldn't date because they fit into the mold of the sons of Gad and Reuben in Num 32:6, which says, "But Moses said to the sons of Gad and to the sons of Reuben, “Shall your brothers go to war while you yourselves sit here?" Often people will realize that they're kind of lazy and try to cloak it with nice words as Jehu did when he said, " “Come with me and see my zeal for the Lord.” (2 Kings 10:16)
If you're a real Christian, you probably want to see some real Christian attributes, and not just words. Why? 1 Thess 3:7 nails it: "In all our distress and affliction we were comforted about you through your faith." If your partner is faithful to God, you'll always have a reason for comfort!
Being on fire for God.
BQ: Some people, when you see them, are obviously on fire for God. For a long time now I've wanted to marry someone like that, because it's honestly the most beautiful attribute that someone can have. With that said, instead of doing a traditional (for me) Q/A type post, I'd like to make the next couple dedicated to the sort of passion that I find gorgeous. I hope these passages describe me, you, and I hope they'll describe my future wife. Enjoy! [Day 1] :
"My heart was hot within me,
While I was musing the fire burned;
Then I spoke with my tongue!" (Ps 39:3)
Thoughts: I particularly like this verse because of how it ends: then I spoke with my tongue. It's a gorgeous thing when people become so lit up that they make it known!
"But if I say, “I will not remember Him
Or speak anymore in His name,”
Then in my heart it becomes like a burning fire
Shut up in my bones;
And I am weary of holding it in,
And I cannot endure it." (Jer 20:9)
Thoughts: And this verse I love because in some ways it fits me very well. Sometimes I CAN'T shut up! I can't keep it locked inside! I have to return and speak up. When there is opportunity, it is difficult to NOT take it. :)
BQ: Day 2 of looking at verses about fiery passion!
Jesus said the following, it describes exactly what I'm searching for when I look for friends while I'm here on this earth:
"I have come to cast fire upon the earth; and how I wish it were already kindled!" (Luke 12:49) This reminds me of when I'm having Bible studies and I see a spark start to develop! The urge to see it burst into flame is just about overpowering! How I wish it were already kindled. :)
"They said to one another, “Were not our hearts burning within us while He was speaking to us on the road, while He was explaining the Scriptures to us?" (Luke 24:32) Don't you feel like this when you see the Word? You should! There was a time when I didn't, and man, those were the bad old days. I hope I never go back. :)
Playing games when you're dating.
BQ: In budding relationships, people sometimes try and pit one person against another to make themselves seem more valuable. What does God say about this?
A: "Wrath is fierce and anger is a flood, But who can stand before jealousy?" (Pro 27:4) If you check it out, Proverbs 6 mentions jealousy in the same manner, except it's associated with adultery.
Jealousy in relationships is very unhealthy when it's created to manipulate someone, and it's considered even worse than anger and wrath. Don't use it as a tool or try to "play the game." Why begin a relationship with someone that's associated with failed marriages? Be open, honest, and loving instead.
Slipping back into bad habits.
BQ: What do you do if you're around those still captive to Satan and they're busy engaging in things that are evil? It's often tempting for us to think, "Man, I've got this. I won't stoop to that level," but what advice does God give us?
A: "A prudent man sees evil and hides himself, The naive proceed and pay the penalty. (Pro 27:12) 1 Cor 15:33 says the same, "Do not be deceived: "Bad company corrupts good morals."
When we lead ourselves to believe that we're impervious to spiritual danger, we only expose ourselves as being naive. Instead of choosing bad company, choose to hang around with those who will make you stronger!
BQ: There's a book by Dr. Seuss called, "Marvin K. Mooney Will You Please Go Now?" It has lines like, "The time has come, the time is now, Marvin K. Mooney will you please go now?" God has a similar plea to us throughout the Bible. People always want to delay putting off worldliness, yet God always asks that we do it soon! Why? Because,
"Come now, you who say, “Today or tomorrow we will go to such and such a city, and spend a year there and engage in business and make a profit.” 14 Yet you do not know what your life will be like tomorrow. You are just a vapor that appears for a little while and then vanishes away." (James 4:13-14)
Putting off changing assumes that we'll always have time to change in the future, but we don't know which moment will be the last future moment for us. Old, dead sinner, will you please go now?
BQ: Sometimes people become Christians and then decide that they can indulge in some bad habits, especially if they're not "too bad," as long as they don't go back into sinning "hardcore." How does God feel about this?
A: "But now that you have come to know God, or rather to be known by God, how is it that you turn back again to the weak and worthless elemental things, to which you desire to be enslaved all over again?" (Gal 4:9)
When we start that downhill slide, it's showing a desire to be enslaved again by Satan, so it's critical to not even step foot on that slippery slope.
BQ: As a Christian, it's important to not return to worldliness. God's chosen people, the Israelites, repeatedly did this in the Old Testament, leading God to say such things as, "You too have done evil, even more than your forefathers; for behold, you are each one walking according to the stubbornness of his own evil heart, without listening to Me." (Jer 16:12)
Often when we return to worldliness, it's a sign of our own stubbornness, which is a shame, because we could be stubborn for God as opposed to against Him. God always reminds us to avoid evil, and He explains that going back to the world after finding Him is a chancy thing to do. "For if, after they have escaped the defilements of the world by the knowledge of the Lord and Savior Jesus Christ, they are again entangled in them and are overcome, the last state has become worse for them than the first." (2 Pet 2:20) When you play with fire, it's easy to get burned. The "oh duh, Lucas," solution is not to play with fire at all!
BQ: We've looked at slipping back into worldliness, and 2 Tim 3:13 is actually very much related to this sort of topic. It says, "But evil men and impostors will proceed from bad to worse, deceiving and being deceived."
At first glance, this is only talking about evil men and fakes, right? The thing is, when we claim to be Christian, yet act like the world, what exactly does that make us? Yep! Fakes. Impostors. We end up both deceiving and being deceived, instead of edifying others and being edified. God ends up describing this sort of person as one whose "silver has become dross," whose "drink diluted with water." (Is 1:22)
We all need to be very careful to avoid being cheap imitations of the real thing!
A look at alcohol use and social drinking.
BQ: I've been studying drinking alcohol in the Bible and how it's viewed. So right off the bat, does God ever condone drinking alcohol?
The answer is, "yes." 1 Tim 5:23 points out that it was used for medicinal purposes back in the day, saying, "No longer drink only water, but use a little wine for your stomach’s sake and your frequent infirmities."
Notice that even here, where alcohol was approved, that only a "little wine" was called for. Tomorrow: how about a lot?
BQ: So what if we want to have a LOT of alcohol to liven things up? What does God say about that? (Hint: humanity has a big problem with this, so there're a lot of passages dealing with it, and I won't spend 15 pages on this one topic!)
A: First a brief look at the Old Testament: Isa 5:22; 28:7 "Woe to men mighty at drinking wine, Woe to men valiant for mixing intoxicating drink." "But they also have erred through wine, And through intoxicating drink are out of the way."
"No priest shall drink wine when he enters the inner court." (Eze 44:21; if you're familiar with types and anti-types and who priests are today, this should be noteworthy.)
"Who has woe? Who has sorrow? Who has contentions? Who has complaints? Who has wounds without cause? Who has redness of eyes? Those who linger long at the wine, Those who go in search of mixed wine." (Pro 23:29-30)
Meanwhile, in the New Testament, Romans 13:13, Galatians 5:21, and many other places say things like, "drunkenness, revelries, and the like; of which I tell you beforehand, just as I also told you in time past, that those who practice such things will not inherit the kingdom of God."
Drunkenness, we can see, has never been something of which God has approved, and the practice of it prevents us from being a part of the Kingdom.
BQ: Today we'll look at how the Bible makes comparisons between being sober and being drunk.
"Therefore let us not sleep, as others do, but let us watch and be sober. For those who sleep, sleep at night, and those who get drunk are drunk at night. But let us who are of the day be sober, putting on the breastplate of faith and love, and as a helmet the hope of salvation." (1 Thess 5:6-8)
"Let us walk properly, as in the day, not in revelry and drunkenness, not in lewdness and lust, not in strife and envy." (Rom 13:13)
In the above passages, God makes clear the divide between being drunk and being sober. If we're drunk, we can't even put our spiritual armor on. If we want to be children of light, we can't indulge in drunkenness.
BQ: Yesterday we saw that God made a comparison between those who are drunk and those who aren't. Why is it important to have the spiritual armor on all the time, and what other comparison does God make?
A: "Be sober-minded; be watchful. Your adversary the devil prowls around like a roaring lion, seeking someone to devour." (1 Pet 5:8) God also warns us, "And do not be drunk with wine, in which is dissipation; but be filled with the Spirit." (Eph 5:18)
If you're out getting drunk with your friends, you spiritual armor is off, and Satan is more than capable of seeing the opportunity to lay you low. Not only that, God says that drunkenness is opposed to the Spirit. We can be filled with either alcohol or the Holy Spirit, but not both. Which would you choose? Do you keep your armor on?
BQ: In looking at drinking, we have to look at social drinking, especially, as it's brought up quite a few times in the Bible. As Christians, we've seen that we need to be watchful for ourselves, since Satan is roaring around, and we need to wear our armor, but there's more—we need to avoid drunkenness so that we can help others.
1 Pet 4:3 shows some of the problems associated with alcohol: "For the time that is past suffices for doing what the Gentiles want to do, living in sensuality, passions, drunkenness, orgies, drinking parties, and lawless idolatry."
For a long time, humans have enjoyed social drinking, and there are almost always piles of problems that go with that. In my own high school we had people dying and getting pregnant from a little "loosening up." While it can be tempting to go out partying every now and then, God warns us to, " nor drink wine nor do anything by which your brother stumbles or is offended or is made weak." (Rom 14:21)
If social drinking is something you've really enjoyed, realize that it's time to put it in the past and move on to the things of light!
BQ: Yesterday we saw that drinking is something that we need to keep in the past, that it leads to bad things, and quite importantly, that it reduces a Christian's influence for Christ. Today I've been looking at how shepherds in the assemblies are told to be above reproach so that they can be more effective leaders, and I thought it was very interesting that they and their wives are told:
"Likewise deacons must be reverent, not double-tongued, not near to wine, not greedy for money; Likewise, their wives must be reverent, not slanderers, temperate, faithful in all things." (1 Tim 3:8;11)
It is interesting to note that the original Greek uses wording in 1 Tim that includes "nephalion" and "me paroinos." While I'm not using this as a topic for a word study, these words mean "not near [as in associated with] wine," and "abstinent from wine." Being associated with wine could be something like being an evangelist and having pictures of yourself on facebook at a bar with a alcohol in your hand. Even if you didn't get drunk, it inhibits your ability to be above reproach, which decreases your ability to reach people spiritually.
BQ: Yesterday we saw that spiritual leaders need to avoid being associated with alcohol use, but why exactly, is that?
"Therefore, preparing your minds for action, and being sober-minded, set your hope fully on the grace that will be brought to you at the revelation of Jesus Christ." (1 Pet 1:13) Here the words "nephontes" and "teleios" are employed, which combined mean to be "completely sober."
If we choose to be completely sober, we'll always be ready for action, we'll always be fully equipped with our armor, and we'll be filled with the Spirit, who aids us in battle. If we choose not to be sober, the opposite is true.
BQ: For a last look at drunkenness, we'll consider that it can be tempting to say that we're going out drinking in order to have an opportunity to evangelize. What does God say about this?
1 Cor 15:33-34 "Do not be deceived: “Bad company ruins good morals.”Wake up from your drunken stupor, as is right, and do not go on sinning. For some have no knowledge of God. I say this to your shame."
God, knowing how we are, addresses this very situation. Choosing to involve ourselves in drinking to "win" people merely loses ourselves and is a continuation of sin. It's hard to win people when we start fitting the mold of Isaiah 19:14, "As a drunken man staggers in his vomit."
Instead of being like that, let's aim to "be blameless; sober minded; not near to wine." (1 Tim 3:2) It's better to be out winning souls than winning beer pong!
What is respect?
BQ: I'm looking into the word "respect" and what it means in the Bible. This study has been considerably more tricky than others, and I think it's because we've really muddled what "respect" means. So with that said, let's take a look at respect as found in the Bible and as found in common English.
In common English, respect means to, "admire (someone or something) deeply, as a result of their abilities, qualities, or achievements." In the Bible, as it turns out, respect can be translated from several different words, such as "apoblepo," which means to "look away from all else." This means that when someone respects something, they value it highly; to the exclusion of considering other things, even. However, that version of respect is rarely used, and when it is used, it is in regard to the eternal. Can you spot where "respect" is used in this sentence, from Heb 11:26? "Considering the reproach of Christ greater riches than the treasures of Egypt; for he was looking to the reward."
When the word that we pair most closely with "respect" is used, it's not used in reference to people, but to the eternal riches of Christ. Tomorrow we'll start looking at a far more prevalent idea of "respect" that God wants us to use in out interactions with others, and we'll see how important God's version of respect is.
BQ: Yesterday we saw that respect means to look away from all else in order to give full attention to something, and that this is used in giving value to our eternal lives. When we say that we "respect" someone, what word does God use for that, and what does it mean?
A: The word that is most commonly used is actually to "honor" someone. It primarily comes from the words "timao" and "time," and carries the meanings, "a valuing; a price paid or received; to value something at cost." We have a hard time identifying the word honor/respect because it is to us quite strangely used, and translators often massage sentences to make the words fit in better to our understanding. Consider that the word for "honor/respect" is used here, "For you have been bought with a price: therefore glorify God in your body." (1 Cor 6:20)
If you read Matt. 27:6,9; Acts 4:34; 5:2,3; 7:16, Acts 19:19; 1 Cor 7:23, 1 Pet 2:7, and many other verses, you'll see the word "price" used, because respecting someone is all about OUR values. We'll look more at respecting people tomorrow.
BQ: We've seen that respecting someone is equivalent to honoring them, and that the meaning is always associated with putting a value/price on something. Today we'll look at this word "honor/respect" being used in more accessible forms. Let's consider the following verses:
"The elders who rule well are to be considered worthy of double honor, especially those who work hard at preaching and teaching." (1 Tim 5:17)
" You husbands in the same way, live with your wives in an understanding way, as with someone weaker, since she is a woman; and show her honor as a fellow heir of the grace of life, so that your prayers will not be hindered." (1 Pet 3:7)
"Honor your father and mother; and You shall love your neighbor as yourself.” (Mt 19:19)
Honoring someone is respecting someone, which, as it turns out, is valuing them. If we say that we have no respect for a person, we effectively say that they have no value; they are worthless; they carry no price and are not worth "looking away from [something else] to set one's gaze upon."
Do you respect people? Do you look for value even when at first it seems not to be present? That's something that I need to work on, and we'll see why tomorrow.
BQ: I have a problem, sometimes, with respecting people, because some part of me tries to quickly say that someone flawed is not worth much, which is the same as not being respectable. What does God say about flawed people and respect?
"...And those members of the body which we deem less respectable, on these we bestow more abundant honor, and our less presentable members become much more presentable, whereas our more presentable members have no need of it. But God has so composed the body, giving more abundant honor to that member which lacked." (1 Cor 12:23-24)
Sometimes I've seen new (or old!) people in the assembly with flaws and thought, "They're not really worth that much. I don't see them up there doing much. Bet they still have struggles with drinkin' and such. Might as well smack 'em upside the head with a fryin' pan." My problem was that I didn't value them as God valued them. Eisenhower scolded a general for speaking of a soldier as "just a private," telling him that, "The private is the man who wins the war." This is exactly what God is pointing to in 1 Cor 12. When we quit valuing those who are just learning how to fight, we don't show them respect nor honor, and yet without them, we'd be alone.
Do you respect those around you? How about the new ones, the ones fresh out of boot camp? These people need us to value them even more than others, and we should do so to encourage them and to please God! When a relationship is just starting out, VALUE IT EVEN MORE!
What is self-control?
BQ: Moving on in looking at the fruits of the Spirit, I've taken a shine to self-control. I am a whole lot better with self-control than I used to be, but it took a lot of learning things the hard way to convince me that learning the easy way is preferable. What is self-control?
A: Nothing too tricky this time. Most definitions agree that the original words carried the meaning of, "having power over, mastering, curbing, restraining." So what is self-control all about? Paul used the analogy of an athlete to help us understand, saying, "Do you not know that in a race all the runners run, but only one receives the prize? So run that you may obtain it. Every athlete exercises self-control in all things. They do it to receive a perishable wreath, but we an imperishable." (1 Cor 9:24-25)
Sometimes we follow our desires down dark alleys rather than Christ's beautifully-lit path, indulging in any number of things—drinking, fornicating, or even just being mean. If we do, there's simply no way to say that we're like the athletes that Paul describes, who run for an eternal victory.
Are you running with self-control?
BQ: Sometimes, as Christians, we forget to examine ourselves, or we make light of our flaws. It can be easy to say that some of the fruits of the Spirit aren't all that important, or to say, "Well, I have ENOUGH of this attribute to get by, I 'spose." What warning does Paul give us?
A: 1 Cor 9:26 "So I do not run aimlessly; I do not box as one beating the air. But I discipline my body and keep it under control, lest after preaching to others I myself should be disqualified."
Sometimes we get preachy to others without examining ourselves very accurately, and it's really easy to do this where self-control is concerned, since we can kind of make it a gray area and say, "Well, I have a DECENT amount of self-control...ish." I don't sleep around...too much...just when I slip up. I don't get drunk...often. I'm above reproach...sometimes.
As Christians, we need to hold ourselves to a high standard, to aim to be above reproach at all times, lest, as Paul says, we find ourselves disqualified.
BQ: I've been using 1 Cor 9 to look at self-control, where Paul relates self-control to athletes competing for a prize. There are two main focuses of self-control. One, and the one that is most often focused on, is refraining from doing what we know we shouldn't do. That's a good goal. What's the other aspect?
A: The other aspect of self-control is one I like better. Instead of refraining from doing what we shouldn't, it's making ourselves do what we know we should do, and aiming to be the best in it. 1 Cor 9:24 says, "24 Do you not know that those who run in a race all run, but only one receives the prize? Run in such a way that you may win."
If you're looking to exhibit more self-control in your life, don't just look to NOT DO bad things—aim to be the best in doing the best things. Matthew 22:37says it best: "Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind." Don't aim for "not bad." Aim for "always great."
BQ: What does God say that we are without self-control?
A: "A man without self-control is like a city broken into and left without walls." (Proverbs 25:28) In ancient times, cities had walls as a first line of defense against enemies. Our adversary is Satan, and if we decide that self-control isn't that important, we're just like that city—totally undefended and pretty much useless. Don't be a smashed up city—have some self-control!
BQ: As Christians, we must have self-control. What do we need to have control over? (BTW, Thayer's notes that "under control" denotes "making something a slave." Keep this in mind.)
A: This stuff's obvious, but it's important to review. Firstly, we need to restrain our bodies. "Let not sin therefore reign in your mortal body, to make you obey its passions(Rom 6:12). “All things are lawful for me,” but not all things are helpful. “All things are lawful for me,” but I will not be enslaved by anything" (1 Cor 6:12).
The concept of enslavement is pretty important. We really have two options: enslave our own bodies to do our will, or be enslaved/controlled by our lusts, and thus out of control ourselves.
BQ: Today's the last day we'll spend on self-control. Yay, I know, FINALLY Necessary is done! :P The Bible differentiates the results of self-control and a lack of it. What does it specify?
A: Well, the bad stuff is mostly summed up in Gal 5:19-21: "Now the works of the flesh are evident: sexual immorality, impurity, sensuality, idolatry, sorcery, enmity, strife, jealousy, fits of anger, rivalries, dissensions, divisions, envy, drunkenness, orgies, and things like these."
The opposing front which we should be more interested in is, "Finally, brethren, whatever is TRUE, whatever is HONORABLE, whatever is RIGHT, whatever is PURE, whatever is LOVABLE and GRACIOUS, whatever is COMMENDABLE, if there is any EXCELLENCE and if anything WORTHY OF PRAISE, dwell on these things." (Phil 4:8)
It's easy to assess your self-control by looking at what you dwell on. If you're envious, drunk, thinking about some rivalry, etc., you're doin' it wrong. Choose some excellence instead. It'll make your life way better!