If you can't forgive or forget, pick one.

Are you good at record keeping? Have you ever had a falling out with someone? Maybe it was ages ago, but you still don't talk? Maybe it was SUPER-SERIOUS FACEBOOK OFFICIAL and you even blocked them for whatever reason and thought, "Aha, me and Mark Zuckerberg will teach 'em!?" 

God said love "keeps no record of wrongs." When will you tear up that record and start fresh? After all, the second greatest command is to, "love your neighbor as yourself.’" (1 Cor 13 & Mark 12)  

How to Prevent a Tsunami of Bitterness or: How I Learned to Stop Worrying and Love.

BQ:  What should you do if you feel yourself becoming upset with someone? Proverbs 17:14 says, "The beginning of strife is like releasing water;  Therefore stop contention before a quarrel starts."

Don't even let that floodgate open. Once it does, the angry words that surge out erode the walls of a good relationship, leaving lasting scars. When I feel like I'm being hurt, I go to Luke 6:28, which says, "bless those who curse you, pray for those who mistreat you." When I'm praying for the good of someone, I find that I can't get angry. If possible, I try to have them pray with me.

BQ: Have you ever had a brother or sister in Christ that you couldn't stand? That feeling isn't good, but it is a blessing because it's like a klaxon going off to warn you that your spiritual health is damaged. 1 John 2:11 explains, "But he who hates his brother is in darkness and walks in darkness, and does not know where he is going, because the darkness has blinded his eyes."

While an unkindness may cause you to feel anger in response, God tells us, "Be angry, and do not sin: do not let the sun go down on your wrath." (Eph 4:26) Don't let a feeling of quick anger be anything more than that. Put a damper on it immediately, and focus on walking in the light with whoever has hurt you, so that you don't end up by yourself in the darkness.

BQ: Have you ever called someone a bad name? Told them to go to hell? The second we let that bitterness toward a person exist, God isn't even interested in us trying to follow Him in other ways—not until we fix the flaw of inner hatred.. Instead, he tells us,

"Whoever says, ‘You fool!’ shall be in danger of hell fire. Therefore if you bring your gift to the altar, and there remember that your brother has something against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift." (Mt 5:22-24) 

If you have a brother or sister that you're not reconciled with, don't let it ride. Give your best effort to love them. Suck up your pride and be kind. You might not win your brother, but you will have tried your hardest, and you will be able to say that Romans 12:18 applies to you. "If possible, so far as it depends on you, be at peace with all men."

It's Hard to Forgive!

It's Hard to Forgive!

Do you find it difficult to forgive others who have hurt you?

This is no simple question. Sure, if someone does something unintentionally, or is apologetic... It's pretty easy to forgive them.

What if they hurt you purposefully, callously, and could not care less if you've been deeply wounded by their words and actions?

Should we wait for an apology that may never come?

Many of us are familiar with the verses like this one:

"For if you forgive others their trespasses, your heavenly Father will also forgive you, but if you do not forgive others their trespasses, neither will your Father forgive your trespasses." Matthew 6:14-15
(see also Mark 11:25, Col 3:13)

We know that for God to forgive us, me must be forgiving of others. Sounds simple, right? So what is it that holds us back, that makes it so gut wrenchingly hard sometimes to just let go of the infractions we tightly grasp in our fists and hold over the head of the offender?

For that we must look at our own hearts. What are we storing up? Anger and bitterness, or joy and compassion?

"The good person out of the good treasure of his heart produces good, and the evil person out of his evil treasure produces evil, for out of the abundance of the heart his mouth speaks." Luke 6:45

If we store up anger and resentment, it will show up in all parts of our life-- creating new victims, and continuing the cycle of hurt. BUT, what if we do this instead:

"Trust in the LORD with all your heart, and do not lean on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge him, and he will make straight your paths. Be not wise in your own eyes; fear the LORD, and turn away from evil. It will be healing to your flesh and refreshment to your bones." Proverbs 3:5-8

Oh what joy it will be to find that HEALING! The kind of healing that penetrates beyond the surface and into our very bones!

We may never understand why that person did what they did! They may never offer a meaningful apology, if they offer one at all. But does it matter whether or not the offender deserves our forgiveness? Does it matter if they appreciate it? It's certainly a nice thought and a great hope. And perhaps our attitude of forgiveness can prick their heart and start them on the path that leads to redemption. (That's not to say that we should allow ourselves to be hurt again-- some situations require that we keep a distance for safety sake.)

But when it comes to forgiving those who have hurt us, we must first remember that God tells us it is vital. After all, we have a Savior who ***gave His very life*** so we ourselves could have forgiveness-- and He did this for everyone, when no one deserved it, whether they loved Him or not. God wants us to extend that same love to others.

It may take time, and it won't be easy, but we must work to empty our hearts of dark thoughts and allow them to be refreshed by the healing power of God's ways.

Need a good place to start renewing your thoughts? Here is some wisdom from Phillipians 4:8-- "...whatever is true, whatever is honorable, whatever is just, whatever is pure, whatever is lovely, whatever is commendable, if there is any excellence, if there is anything worthy of praise, think about these things."

And Col 3:12-13--
"Put on then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another and, if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other; as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive."


One more thought-- forgiveness is a topic with many sides and faces. For those dealing with difficult people on a daily basis-- I pray for you. It is a hard journey to have to forgive the same hurts over and over, with no relief in sight.

"Then Peter came up and said to him, "Lord, how often will my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? As many as seven times?"

Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you seven times, but seventy-seven times." Matthew 18:21-22

Wow. That's hard. Almost seems impossible, but remember: "I can do all things through him who strengthens me." Phil 4:13

Keep fighting the good fight and be a light for the sake of Christ-- and when you are weak, when you fail, have mercy on yourself. Pray for strength and try, try again.

Secret Sin: Can You Keep It Hidden?

Food for thought and the stout of stomach:

I have personal reasons to address this heavy topic today, but it is my hope to prick your hearts and dampen the power of evil that has so strong a hold on too many souls in this world. And so I ask:

What dark secrets are you hiding?

How long do you think you have before they will be discovered?

It really doesn't matter how clever you are, how carefully you cover your tracks or how masterfully you might be able to manipulate those around you. No matter how hard we try, we cannot conceal our sin from God, and He has the power to reveal it to anyone, at any time.

"Nothing is covered up that will not be revealed, or hidden that will not be known. Therefore whatever you have said in the dark shall be heard in the light, and what you have whispered in private rooms shall be proclaimed on the housetops." Luke 12:2-3

Are you ready for that?!?

"Do not be deceived: God is not mocked, for whatever one sows, that will he also reap. For the one who sows to his own flesh will from the flesh reap corruption..." Gal 6:7-8a

Sin reaps corruption! That's a harsh saying and a hard truth, isn't it? Some sin is easy to confess and some sin is so shameful, so utterly vile that we might rather die than to speak it aloud, but even that sin is forgiveable.

What do we do?? For one, we could repent and confess of our sins (which means STOP IT! and FIX IT!) letting Christ wash it away OR continue in our delusion that we are in control and will never be found out.

Choosing the first, we can continue in Galatians to see that:
"...the one who sows to the Spirit will from the Spirit reap eternal life. And let us not grow weary of doing good, for in due season we will reap, if we do not give up." 8a-9

Trade the physical for the Spiritual! Do GOOD, have patience, and be determined never to give up! The reward is beyond any fading lust or pleasure we experience here-- it is eternal life in paradise!

Still don't think you're touchable? Still think what you're doing isn't hurting anyone? What they don't know won't hurt them, isn't that the saying? If you've got the idea you are just fine, consider the warning of Titus:

"To the pure, all things are pure, but to the defiled and unbelieving, nothing is pure; but both their minds and their consciences are defiled. They profess to know God, but they deny him by their works. They are detestable, disobedient, unfit for any good work." Titus 1:15-16

If you aren't obeying God, if you refuse to fight your sin, beware, lest you go so far down the path of destruction that you develop a defiled conscience that cannot guide you back the right way. If you are unfit for any good work, what are you fit for?

No pity parties! No excuses! Your sin hurts those you love and it is your choice to change that path. . . . 

AND ALWAYS REMEMBER your Savior waits for you with love and open arms, He will forgive you. He's pretty awesome like that.