People who always let you know how wrong you are.

Have you been trying to become more like Christ, but met that one person who's always a hammer in search of a nail? You probably know what I'm talking about: they know EVERYTHING that you're doing wrong and will always let you know about how wrong you are in God's eyes and what little thing is indubitably sending you to hell if you don't conform. They're always the stick and never the carrot, so don't expect any "attaboys" from them, because they're there to refine you as with fire. Those people are an example that there is a difference between doing God's work and doing God's job. In 1 Cor 4, Paul wrote,

"Therefore do not go on passing judgment before the time, but wait until the Lord comes who will both bring to light the things hidden in the darkness and disclose the motives of men’s hearts; and then each man’s praise will come to him from God....so that no one of you will become arrogant in behalf of one against the other."

We are to be known by our love for one another, which does include reproof and correction, but not done in such a manner that we always beat down and never build up. Furthermore, we should be very careful in pronouncing eternal judgement on our brothers and sisters. We labor for the harvest, but do not replace God as the adjudicator of the eternal soul of man.

Help people get past the past.

"Do not call to mind the former things, Or ponder things of the past." (Is 43:18) People will make mistakes. Perhaps they're terrible mistakes—maybe you know someone who has cheated on a spouse in the past, even. 

People cannot effectively overcome if we remember them as they once were; if we keep them trapped in the past. Imagine if we only saw Christ dying on the cross and never admitted that YES, He rose from the grave. Let's be like God, who said, "For I will be merciful toward their iniquities, and I will remember their sins no more.” (Heb 8:12) 

Help people get past the past. Don't keep them stuck in their past mistakes.

The carrot or the stick? Should we beat people into spiritual health?

If you really lay into someone about their sin, they should come around, right? Let 'em have it about their transgressions? God says that we should be,

"With gentleness correcting those who are in opposition...and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will." (2 Tim 2)

When we attack someone for their sins, we put them on the defensive. The fight-or-flight response kicks in. Catecholamine hormones, such as adrenaline  or noradrenaline , facilitate immediate physical reactions associated with a preparation for violent muscular action.  Our digestive systems shut down, along with the parts of our brain associated with cognitive deliberation. We lose the ability to calmly reason. In effect, we truly lose our senses. 

Someone trapped in sin doesn't need to be attacked. They need our gentleness and patience, which can help them come to their senses and reason together, which is what God wants. (Isaiah 1:18)

What do we do if a brother or sister in Christ is living a life in open rebellion to God's Word?

What do we do if a brother or sister in Christ is living a life in open rebellion to God's Word? I heard one preacher say, "Just be nice. You can't disconnect a trailer that's not connected in the first place." Another said that we need to "get rid" of such people to "purify the church." Another favored putting them in minor leadership positions to encourage them. So what is God's advice? Check out 1 Thess 3:14-15:

"If anyone does not obey[...] take special note of that person and do not associate with him, so that he will be put to shame. Yet do not regard him as an enemy, but admonish him as a brother."

God recommends a form of ostracism so that it might produce shame and repentance on the part of the one in open rebellion, and thus result in his restoration. Sounds harsh, huh? No leading an assembly for sure, and definitely some disconnecting of the trailer from the truck! But the goal is RESTORATION. The goal is to admonish, which means to "instruct through warning."

And above all, we have to love them, and cherish them as our family. We have to wish for their success. If should grieve us to see them struggling with sin; it should hurt to limit association. Our hearts should be pained, not poisoned.

My past will never define me.

For a long time I've tried to figure out why I went from spiritually lazy to spiritually working; from feeling safe in sin to toppling those titans. To this day, I can't really figure it out. I want to. I want to have a magic key to fixing people, to helping them overcome when they're stuck in bad habits. "Poof—you'll never drive drunk again! Poof—you won't be sleeping around anymore! Poof—your explosive anger is gone!" 

But I don't. it seems that I didn't change until my heart desired it, and then it was God who caused the growth.  And getting someone's heart to change—I am no good at that. I wish I were. But I think I have a solution that works, if I could convince people to try it. Hebrews 10:24-25 says,

"Let us consider how to stimulate one another to love and good deeds, not forsaking our own assembling together, as is the habit of some, but encouraging one another; and all the more as you see the day drawing near."

For a long time, I hid my facebook, or sections of it, from my brothers and sisters in Christ—I even preemptively blocked them from seeing me, or from seeing lots of my posts. Who wants to show off evil to those who are good?  I didn't want to be in anyone's spiritual high beams, because man, I was pretty popular with the world, and that felt good.  

My life was a formula designed to cheat God's system: I'd keep my bad behavior, but show up to assembly enough that no one could say that I wasn't a participant. And I'd know a LOT about the Bible, so you couldn't say I could be destroyed for a lack of knowledge. I'd even show up to some functions outside of Sunday and make a good showing of it all.  Man, just look at the pictures! I'd be in them. That's my alibi. 

But if you ever checked my facebook, you'd see that I was definitely a friend of the world.

In the end, my conscience drove me to the breaking point. It was a little twinge I was ignoring, but it grew and grew.  I saw so many saints doing so much good, and I realized that I was trying to slide in to home plate—almost tagged out, but still saved. Saved by a technicality. 

But that conscience I mentioned...it got kicked from the backburner into overdrive. I met a girl who wasn't really a Christian, but who was really sweet. She had plenty of worldly habits and thought the world of me—or rather, because of my formulaic way of living, she saw me as ultra-Christlike. I knew the Bible inside out. I didn't cuss or drink. I was great with dirty jokes, but those were just funny...not serious. I was a breath of fresh air. But in that air was an odorless poison.

This girl liked to drink a lot, and it didn't help out her life at all—but I never said anything about her bar habits. I got to know her and her kid, and I started having feelings of attachment for them. For perhaps the second time ever I said, "Ok, this girl isn't on track for heaven...I guess I have to do something." But I wasn't committed. My formula was just that: technical schematics that could never change a person's heart. They were soulless criteria for getting what I wanted, not anything from a heart that ached to serve God ever better.

And because of that, I presented a truth devoid of love. It was like saying, "Here, drink this water, it'll help you live," but all the while, I was an oil slick on top of it, making her sick of the water. If I was such a saint, why did I hide so much on facebook? Why did I put such low priority on studying the Bible?  Why did I only assemble the bare minimum—Sunday evening only, because it's shorter? 

God says, "By this all men will know that you are My disciples, if you have love for one another," (Jn 13:35), and deep down, all men recognize this. And deep down, the girl recognized me as a fraud. So was she, being a Christian in name only, but it meant that I couldn't reach her. I couldn't cause a desire for her to change.  We split ways. She went deeper into drinking and the world, and I went into sadness and despair.  I had finally realized that I'd hurt someone—spiritually. Blown a chance to make a disciple of Christ.


It hurt. I decided to start getting involved with the saints. The "assembling" that's mentioned in Hebrews is way more than just Sundays, by the way, because the early church associated daily. In Acts 2:46 we see that Christians met daily. "And day by day, attending the temple together and breaking bread in their homes, they received their food with glad and generous hearts."

Changing your associates is one of the best way to change YOU. If you're not growing, start being around your brothers and sisters in Christ more—it can lead to explosive growth.  I had to start forcing myself to be with my brothers and sisters, to expose myself to the light.  When I did, it made me change my bad habits. I had to get rid of them. And the void that was left had to be filled with something—so I started filling it with what my brothers and sisters were doing. I started studying the Bible. I started teaching others. And the more I did, the more I loved it. And the more I saw results, the more I realized God's plan worked. And the more I saw His plan working, the more I worshiped (submitted to Him) in Spirit. 

But the thing that sometimes makes me sad is that, even knowing what can work, and what has worked, I can't force anyone to try it. I can't force anyone to desire it.  It took the painful realization that I was ultimately a failure—and a failure that put others in spiritual danger—before I woke up.  I had to recognize that God was right when He says, "For the time already past is sufficient for you to have carried out the desire of the Gentiles, having pursued a course of sensuality, lusts, drunkenness, carousing, drinking parties and abominable idolatries." (1 Pet 4:3) I had to realize that I'd hurt someone who had cared for me, and for whom I reciprocated that affection.

Even more than that, I had to open myself up to criticism. I couldn't just keep calling people meanies when they called me out. I had to say, 

"Let a righteous man strike me—it is a kindness;

let him rebuke me—it is oil for my head;

let my head not refuse it."

(Psalm 141:5)

But perhaps, just perhaps, I can encourage people to wish for the label of, "overwhelming conqueror in all things," to be known as one who topples the titans of sin, who says, "My past will never define me, but this day and every day I shall excel still more."  That's my prayer at least. I know that I can encourage. I can be kind. I can be honest. Paul said, "I planted, Apollos watered, but God was causing the growth."  I can plant. I can water. And I can pray for God to cause the growth. 

I praise God every day that He helped me examine myself, and find myself wanting. And I praise Him for helping me grow. In the past. In the present. And boundlessly in the future. 

Restoring someone.

Restoring someone.
BQ: Have you ever been upset when someone's let you or others down? When someone has failed at some task? One battle I personally have is with taking failure critically, both in myself and in others. It's something that's completely unattractive and I seriously need to work on it.

When it comes to doing things which aren't morally upright, it can be tempting to use righteousness as some sort of hammer. The thing is, it's impossible to bang out sin in someone. They have to want to
remove it.

"Brethren, if a man is overtaken in any trespass, you who are spiritual restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, considering yourself lest you also be tempted. Bear one another's burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ" is written in Galatians 6:1-2.Matthew 18:21-22 says, ""Then Peter came to Him and said, "Lord, how often shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? Up to seven times?" Jesus said to him, "I do not say to you, up to seven times, but up to seventy times seven."

When someone falls, we need to help them up. Isn't that what you'd want for yourself? Helping someone up, however, does require that we acknowledge that they indeed have fallen. We can't just ignore it, or they'll never be restored. At the same time, we don't kick them when they're down, or yank at them furiously.

Remember, you can never fix a broken item by destroying it. Let's gently restore those who have fallen, and remember how we'd like to be treated ourselves.
(PN2)