Assault vs Leadership

You don't lead by hitting people over the head—that's assault, not leadership.  

"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." (Isaiah 40:11) I didn't get this for a very long time. It was easier to get angry at people I "knew wouldn't change their wretched ways."

But people are smart. They know when they're doing wrong. "'Neither do I condemn you,' Jesus declared. 'Now go and sin no more.'" —Jesus

The carrot or the stick? Should we beat people into spiritual health?

If you really lay into someone about their sin, they should come around, right? Let 'em have it about their transgressions? God says that we should be,

"With gentleness correcting those who are in opposition...and they may come to their senses and escape from the snare of the devil, having been held captive by him to do his will." (2 Tim 2)

When we attack someone for their sins, we put them on the defensive. The fight-or-flight response kicks in. Catecholamine hormones, such as adrenaline  or noradrenaline , facilitate immediate physical reactions associated with a preparation for violent muscular action.  Our digestive systems shut down, along with the parts of our brain associated with cognitive deliberation. We lose the ability to calmly reason. In effect, we truly lose our senses. 

Someone trapped in sin doesn't need to be attacked. They need our gentleness and patience, which can help them come to their senses and reason together, which is what God wants. (Isaiah 1:18)