You don't lead by hitting people over the head—that's assault, not leadership.
"He tends his flock like a shepherd: He gathers the lambs in his arms and carries them close to his heart; he gently leads those that have young." (Isaiah 40:11) I didn't get this for a very long time. It was easier to get angry at people I "knew wouldn't change their wretched ways."
But people are smart. They know when they're doing wrong. "'Neither do I condemn you,' Jesus declared. 'Now go and sin no more.'" —Jesus