Some time ago I was talking about the book "Crazy Love" with a friend who had been studying relationships and marital success. "Why," I asked, "do I have relationships end the same bad way with people who make me feel entirely differently? "

"You liked them all on an immediate, physical or emotional level, probably," my friend replied. "That led you to like them emotionally. It wasn't white knight syndrome—you didn't want to fix them! Nope, it was confirmation bias. You noticed and looked for what confirmed what you desired, but also ignored, undervalued, or avoided looking for flaws. You ignored any warning signs!"

That's true! I didn't want to examine character deeply because I wanted it to work SO badly. I should have remembered Proverbs 20:11: "Even a young man is known by his actions, whether his activity is pure and whether it is right." Now I'll appreciate the good things, but if the activity isn't pure and right, I'll slow my roll on a relationship and instead focus on being a good friend spiritually!